Building muscle is tough. Tougher than Catherine’s Christmas turkey. It used to be the bane of my existence. Higher on my “can’t do” list than making eye contact with members of the opposite sex. My early skinny-fat days were darrrkkkk. Beyond being incapable of communicating with females, I made the same muscle building mistake over and [...]
Building muscle is tough.
Tougher than Catherine's Christmas turkey.
It used to be the bane of my existence. Higher on my “can't do” list than making eye contact with members of the opposite sex.
My early skinny-fat days were darrrkkkk. Beyond being incapable of communicating with females, I made the same muscle building mistake over and over and over and over and over…
If you're trying to bulk up and you don't want to hoard as many “overs” as me, then I have some advice:
Don't listen to true skinny guys.
I'm talking about guys that have been slender, scrawny, and shrimpy since kindergarten. Guys that say things like, “I can't gain weight.”
Don't listen to those dudes.
Don't listen to McShrimps.
Wanna know why?
My McShrimp obsession.
When I was a padawan, I was obsessed with McShrimp transformation stories. Two reasons why.
First, when I got serious about bulking up, I had just spent eight months losing fat and leaning down. So, at the time, I looked and felt very McShrimpy.
Second, McShrimps had the BEST transformations. They all seemed to build muscle WITHOUT getting fat, which was the dream. I had just gotten shredded, I didn't want to pork up again.
Pairing myself with a McShrimp seemed like a perfect match, which is exactly how Luke Skywalker felt (romantically) about Princess Leia after A New Hope.
We know how that ended.
This ends similarly.
Here's what they said.
Every McShrimp seemed to sip on the same three-ingredient muscle building cocktail. Here's what they told me to do:
First, lift heavy objects. Befriend a barbell. Start doing squats, deadlifts, presses, and pulls. Add weight to the bar. Get stronger. Lift heavy.
Second, eat everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. Don’t stop eating. Eat until you puke. And then eat your puke, topped with Parmesean cheese. Wake up in the middle of the night and eat. YOU NEED TO EAT.
Third, pound protein. While you're shoving your face with food, make sure you're getting one gram of protein per pound of bodyweight. Drink a gallon of whole milk per day if needed.
Considering I empathized with these McShrimps and I wanted to trace their trajectory, I downed their cocktail without a chaser.
Mistake.
Big BIG BIG mistake.
See for yourself.
This set of “progress” pictures is from my first bulk, way back in winter of 2006-2007. Didn’t gain much muscle. Plumped up like Porky Pig.
There are two reasons why.
The first reason why.
Your body fares better, muscularly, when you're eating surplus calories. But an infinitely high surplus won't equate to infinitely greater muscle growth. At some point, more calories will just make you more fat.
McShrimps freak over the food demands of bulking. They say things like, “Eating is the toughest part about gaining muscle,” but that's only because they have small appetites.
If you have a small appetite, you might need to eat the kitchen sink. You might need to eat until sustenance seeps from your eye sockets.
But if you DON'T have a small appetite, if your appetite is larger than Ethan Klein's second chin, then a classified clearance to eat the kitchen sink is a threat to national security.
This is why I plumped up like Porky Pig.
I ate waaaayyyyy too much.
Sort of…
Eating too much?
McShrimps were telling me to drink a gallon of milk per day (GOMAD) and plan midnight meals, but I wasn't doing either. I was eyeballing my calorie intake. Making sure I was getting enough protein.
My goal was to gain one pound every week, which is a common bulking standard. Unfortunately, for skinny-fat dudes, gaining one pound per week is an overly aggressive standard.
Even though I wasn't eating the kitchen sink, I was eating too much. Expecting to gain muscle at an unreasonable pace. This is one of the reasons why my bulk ended in Space Shuttle Challenger fashion.
The other reason?
Eh.
Not sure you're ready for this…
The second reason why.
Your body can do different things with the food you eat. Just like how you can do different things with the money you earn. The word “partitioning” is often used to describe this phenomenon.
If you have “good” nutrient partitioning, your body will throw more calories and nutrients towards muscle tissue.
If you have “bad” nutrient partitioning, your body will throw more calories and nutrients towards body fat.
Present (and past) body fat percentage is one of a few factors that influence nutrient partitioning, with the rule being:
The fatter you are (or have been), the easier it is for you to get fat.
One more time.
The fatter you are (or have been), the easier it is for you to get fat.
Even after correcting for calorie intake, McShrimps will gain more muscle and less fat on a bulk, as compared to you. They have better partitioning because they've never been fat.
Life isn't fair.
Overcoming poor partitioning.
My body has never done well with the McShrimp Method of muscle growth, which is to say: serving your body a daily calorie surplus.
From my observations, only three population do well with the McShrimp Method: the McShrimps themselves, the steroid savvy, and the seasoned veterans (people with years of strength training experience.)
Where does this leave you?
Here are some things to consider.
1. TRAIN CORRECTLY
First, before you contemplate bulking, you need to be doing the right kind of training. If you aren't doing the right kind of training, then nutrition doesn't matter. Check out Burnt Toast Body. It's a program for skinny-fat noobs that wanna build an x-physique.
2. GET LEAN FIRST
Second, I recommend getting lean before you bulk. Because, when you're lean, you'll have an easier time distinguishing between fat gain and muscle gain.
If you're lean and your abdominal grooves are fading, you know you're getting fat. If you're chubby, you don't have this feedback. Much easier to confuse fat gain for muscle gain.
If you need help getting lean, check out Solid Base Shortcuts. “Solid base” is a term I coined long ago. It represents the physical state skinny-fat dudes should strive to achieve, prior to bulking.
3. CLEAN BULK
Third, after you reach (and normalize) solid state, you could experiment with the McShrimp Method. I wouldn't, if I were you. But you could.
I'd opt for a more conservative approach. One that errs towards building muscle without getting fat. If you wanna know how I've been able to clean bulk my way to my current physique, check out Two Meal Muscle.
You need more muscle.
Beyond giving your physique some pop, building muscle also increases your metabolic rate. You can eat more nachos without consequence. Or in my case, you can drink hazy New England IPAs (otherwise known as: the white man's vanilla latte) every weekend and not get fat.
Muscle mass is nacho average tissue.
May the Gains be with you,
Ant