Lazy Fat Loss
You want to lose fat without trying. You're lazier than Snorlax. I got you. A warning before we begin: losing fat lazily can have negative consequences. You probably don't care about the negative consequences. I care. You have been warned. I am absolved of liability.
PRE
Losing fat is a byproduct of energy demand exceeding energy supply. I know you’d rather clip your fingernails too short than learn about fat-loss physiology, but my sanity requires me to brush against the subject.
There are two ways to tip the Energy Balance Equation in favor of fat loss. First, increase energy demand. Second, decrease energy supply.
Increasing energy demand can be accomplished by exercising. Exercising is the opposite of lazy. Lazy fat loss depends on decreasing energy supply by way of eating foods that contain less energetic material.
There are four tiers to lazy fat loss. The first two are no-brainers, but I had to include them based on the number of people that eat CLIF bars and drink Gatorade in the name of “health.”
1. Mother Nature
Eat mostly Mother Nature's foods.
Mother Nature's food consists of things that can be found in nature (fruits, plants, fish, and animals) and consumed almost immediately, with minimal preparation. Almost every other food requires some kind of processing (alteration) in order to become edible.
Processing isn’t inherently evil: Cooking is a form of food processing. However, processing has a dark side. It’s one thing to char salmonella off a turkey leg or turn a cow’s tit juice into cheese. It’s another thing to create a handheld stay-fresh-forever chocolate cake designed to deliver an intense dopaminergic spike in the name of consumer addiction. And so, it’s useful to distinguish between two types of processed foods.
- Low-processed foods are derived from Mother Nature’s materials and have few ingredients. Things like cheese, yogurt, rice, and (some) grains. Low-processed foods have been around for ages.
- High-processed foods are derived from processed materials and have a lot of ingredients. Things like chips, candies, crackers, cookies, cakes, and, of course, protein bars. High-processed foods were created within the past century or two.
Eating an abundance of high-processed foods makes it more difficult to lose weight. There was an interesting study done not long ago. Researchers broke participants into two groups. One group of participants ate almost entirely high-processed foods. The other group ate almost entirely no-to-low processed foods. Then they switched.
Even though the participants rated each diet equally palatable, they ate an average of 508 more calories per day on the high-processed diet.
There are many reasons high-processed foods aren't good for fat loss. For starters, they're easier to overeat. This isn't surprising. These foods were created by humans (in labs) and designed to be as addictive as they can possibly be. They are profit-driven products. Food and flavor scientists get paid mountains of money to make “foods” you don't want to stop eating.
High-processed foods are also easier to digest. Your body doesn't undergo as much “intestinal exercise” after you eat them, which means they yield more energetic material. For instance, research suggests there's a BIG difference between eating peanuts and eating peanut butter: Almost 38% of the fat in peanuts passed through the body, unabsorbed, whereas all of the fat in peanut butter was absorbed.
To be clear, no food (to my knowledge) will permanently halt fat burning. You can eat tons of high-processed foods and lose weight. A nutrition professor named Mark Haub ate mostly junk food (like Doritos and Hostess cakes) for ten weeks and he lost 27 pounds. Perhaps an even wilder story is that of Anthony Howard-Crow. He consumed nothing but ice cream, alcohol, and protein shakes for 100 days, and he lost 32 pounds.]
Similar stories exist, but there's a common thread between eating high-processed foods and losing fat: energy supply is closely controlled. Meaning, people who lose weight while eating a lot of high-processed foods are super conscious about the number of calories they're consuming.
This isn't lazy.
Sum
Eat mostly Mother Nature's food and her low-processed variants. Eat the corpses of creatures that once had heartbeats. Eat fruits and plants. Don't eat laboratory experiments stuffed inside vacuum-sealed plastic bags.
2. Water
Drink mostly water and stay hydrated.
Drinking things is much different than eating things. Liquids bypass most of our satiety circuitry. This is why I’m not a huge fan of “healthy” drinks, like green smoothies. You'd never eat the solid ingredients of a smoothie the way you drink them.
Check this recipe for a green smoothie:
1 cup pineapple chunks
1 ripe banana
1 cup frozen mango cubes
1 cup coconut milk
4 cups baby spinach
1 Teaspoon vanilla extract
3–4 Tablespoons flax meal or chia seeds
You blend these ingredients and suck down the resultant liquid without thought, but would you ever eat all of these solid ingredients as a meal?
No.
When solid food becomes liquid food, you put things into your body you otherwise wouldn’t. And so, for lazy fat loss, you should reserve most of your energy intake for solid foods. You want the things you consume to feel heavy in your belly. That way, you won't eat as much.
For liquids, nothing beats water. Few things hydrate as well as water (which is kind of the point of liquids anyway and probably why hunger and thirst are different sensations). As a bonus, water contains no energetic material.
Of course, you aren't confined to drinking water and only water, but there are two things to consider when drinking anything else for hydration.
First, quality. Liquids live in the footsteps of solids. Mother Nature knows best. Stay away from high-processed liquids that will rot your teeth.
Second, energy. You have to reverse-engineer liquids into solids in order to truly appreciate their food-like qualities. For instance, if you're drinking a small bottle of Mountain Dew, then you’re “eating” fourteen tablespoons of sugar. Eating fourteen tablespoons of sugar is similar to eating two potatoes, from a macronutrient standpoint. What's going to feel better in your belly, 8 ounces of nuclear-colored liquid or two potatoes?
Outside of water, the best things to drink for lazy fat loss are liquids that contain microscopic amounts of energy, like black coffee and plain tea. Sugar-free sodas and flavored seltzer waters also fall into this category, with a footnote. I'm not a huge fan of artificial sweeteners or artificial flavors. You're better off without them in your diet, but, for fat loss, you're probably better off drinking sugar-free options instead of sugar-full options.
Carbonated water without artificial sweeteners or without artificial flavors is fine. You haven't lived until you've had an ice-cold Topo Chico.
Sum
Drink mostly water and no-calorie beverages. Stay hydrated. Use the color of pee in a cup as a guide. (I don't expect you to pee in a cup, so account for some dilution.)
- If your pee is kind of clear with a hit of yellow, assume you're well-hydrated. Drink water according to thirst.
- If your pee is a sunshine yellow color, like lemonade, you could probably use some water. Drink a cup or two.
- If your pee is a goldenrod yellow color, like apple juice, you need water. Drink a liter as soon as you can.
3. Lean proteins.
Make lean proteins the center of most of your meals.
You've probably heard of proteins, carbohydrates, and fats. These three nutrients are known as macronutrients. They get a lot of press because they contain energetic material our body uses to repair its energy-producing molecules, so they can continue producing energy.
The rules of thumb:
- Proteins: 4 calories / gram
- Carbs: 4 calories / gram
- Fats: 9 calories / gram
“Calories” are talked about as if they are tangible, but they aren't. They aren't even real. They're a proxy for a much more complicated phenomenon: The calorie values for the macronutrients come from lighting one gram of each nutrient on fire and measuring the heat given off. This is assumed to equal the amount of energetic material a food contains, but this is a logical leap. After all, your body doesn't light food on fire. Your body breaks food into its most basic bits and pieces, sort of like dismantling a LEGO creation, and then decides what to do with what it has available.
Carbohydrates are broken into glucose, which is used for energetic purposes. Fats become triglycerides, which are also used for energetic purposes. Proteins become amino acids, which aren't used for energetic purposes, but your body is a wizard: When necessary, your body can transform amino acids into glucose or even triglycerides, but, for the most part, your body would rather use amino acids for other purposes, which begs the question: how much are proteins involved in the energy-recycling process?
I don't know.
But I do know that proteins take a lot more energy to break down as compared to carbs and fats.
Your body uses energy to digest food (digestion is like exercise for your intestines). And you need more energy to digest and absorb proteins as compared to both carbs and fats.
- Proteins “cost” 20-30% of their calories
- Carbs “cost” 5-6% of their calories
- Fats “cost” 3% of their calories
In other words, if you eat 100 calories of carbs, you’ll have 95 calories left over after digestion, whereas if you eat 100 calories of proteins, you’ll only have 70-80 calories left over after digestion.
Fats and carbs yield more energetic material than proteins, even when eaten in the same (exterior) caloric quantity.
The energy standards for the macronutrients represent potential energy yield. Proteins have a potential energy yield of four calories per gram, but their actual energy yield is lower. Also, they tend to have a high satiety effect, meaning they make you feel full.
Proteins are great for lazy fat loss.
Unfortunately, you can't eat protein. Macronutrients aren't foods. There’s no such thing as “protein.” There are only foods. Some foods contain protein. Many of these same foods also contain “other.” Protein may not be easily converted to body fat, but “other” probably will be. Peanut butter is a great example of this.
Wellness websites with pastel color schemes often list peanut butter as a good source of protein, but the overwhelming majority of peanut butter ISN’T protein. Here are the specific nutrition facts, according to Google, per one serving (two tablespoons):
Fat: 16 grams
Carbs: 6 grams
Protein: 8 grams
In order to get 100 grams of protein via peanut butter, you’d have to eat around 12 servings (two tablespoons is one serving), which would also amass 192 grams of fat and 2256 total calories.
Peanut butter contains protein, but it’s not protein-dense. In order to keep energy yield low and food intake high(er), I stick with lean proteins.
Lean proteins.
Foods that contain mostly proteins are lean proteins; their macronutrient distributions are heavily skewed in favor of protein.
Here are examples of lean proteins: chicken breast, beef liver, tuna, turkey breast, buffalo, elk, mahi-mahi, pork tenderloin, venison, scallops, shrimp, 90/10 (or higher) ground beef, greek yogurt, sardines, etc…
Chubby proteins.
Foods with a decent amount of protein alongside a decent amount of energetic material are chubby proteins; their macronutrient distributions are split (somewhat) in half between proteins and carbs/fats.
Here are examples of chubby proteins: pulled pork, turkey legs and thighs, chicken legs and thighs, cottage cheese, salmon, most unflavored and unsweetened yogurts, eggs…
Purgatory proteins.
Foods that contain a small number of proteins alongside a decent amount of energetic material are purgatory proteins; their macronutrient distributions are skewed against protein.
Examples of purgatory proteins: black beans, almonds, peanut butter, sausage, milk, most cheeses…
Most types of beans, nuts, and cheeses contain protein, but the amount of protein they have is small compared to the other macronutrients they contain. Look at black beans:
- Serving: 1/2 cup
- Calories: 114
- Protein: 8 grams
- Fast: 0 grams
- Carbs: 20 grams
Look at almonds:
- Serving: 1/4 cup
- Calories: 170
- Proteins: 6g
- Fats: 15g
- Carbs: 5g
Eating these foods for protein is rather silly from the outside looking in, although it may not be as silly as it appears on paper thanks to fiber, which is a type of carbohydrate your body can't digest. There may be 20 grams of carbs in 1/2 cup of black beans, but 7 of those 20 grams come from fiber. In other words, black beans won't yield as many carbs and calories as the raw numbers suggest.
Still, even after accounting for fiber, black beans are still a non-lean protein and not a great option for lazy fat loss.
Sum
For lazy fat loss, lean into lean proteins. Be wary of purgatory proteins.
4. Plants
Eat plants at most of your meals.
One of the more important lessons you can learn from eating proteins for lazy fat loss is that macronutrients aren't foods. When you see foods in favor of macronutrients, a few different worlds appear, including the world of plants.
In the same way that not all proteins are created equal, not all carbs are created equal. When you think of “carbs,” you probably think of energy carbs, but there's a big difference between energy carbs and plant carbs.
Energy carbs.
Energy carbs contain higher levels of starch and sugar.
Examples of energy carbs: potatoes, oats, rice, grains, pasta, bread, flour-based products, corn, fruits (apples, bananas, oranges, lemons, limes, kiwis, grapefruits, kumquats, pears, pineapples, grapes…), berries (blueberries, raspberries…)…
Plant carbs.
Plant carbs contain lower levels of starch and sugar.
Examples of non-starchy carbs: broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, cabbage, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, celery, eggplant, onions, asparagus, sprouts, lettuce, mushrooms, spinach, zucchini…
Plant carbs are complex fibrous foods with a skewed volume-to-energy ratio. They don't contain much energetic material and they're difficult to eat in large quantities. You can't amass a ton of energy when eating them unless your portion sizes are astronomical. For instance, you can eat three times the amount of broccoli (in volume) as you can potatoes, for the same caloric yield.
- 200g raw broccoli = 68 cals.
- 200g red potatoes = 178 cals.
Factoring out the fiber (5 grams), 200g of broccoli contains closer to 50 calories. Given the opportunity to eat unlimited broccoli, you'll hit a point of fullness (or boredom) before you’re able to amass a bunch of energetic material. Most plant carbs follow the same trend.
Most plant carbs have a low energy yield per their volume and they're loaded with fiber and other beneficial nutrients. This isn’t to say the energy in broccoli (or plant carbs) doesn’t “count.” It does. But, in general, because of their volume-energy-fiber ratio, you can eat a lot of them without worrying about amassing excess energetic material.
Sum
Eat plenty of plant carbs. Stay measured around energy carbs and fats.
5. Strategy
How to put the principles of lazy fat loss into play.
There are four principles to lazy fat loss:
First, eat mostly Mother Nature's food. Second, drink mostly water and beverages without calories. Third, eat plenty of lean proteins. Fourth, fill up on plant carbs.
The most extreme iteration of lazy fat loss would be to eat nothing but lean proteins and plant carbs, but this is unrealistic day after day and it's not ideal. Even though capping your energy intake is key for fat loss, you can't forget that food also contains nutrients, and you need a bunch of different nutrients to function at your best.
Here are a few ways you can spin lazy fat loss into real-world strategies.
First, less structure.
Haley Joel Osment saw dead people. Thanks to me, you should now be able to see energetic material.
- lean proteins 🥩: not energy
- plant carbs 🥦: not energy
- chubby proteins ⚡: energy
- fats & energy carbs ⚡: energy
Decode your current diet to see how much energetic material you're eating, and thus how likely you are to gain fat or lose fat.
cereal with milk for breakfast?
cereal = ⚡
milk = ⚡
turkey sandwich and chips for lunch?
bread = ⚡
mayo = ⚡
turkey = 🥩
chips = ⚡
If your diet consists of a lot of ⚡, you're going to struggle to lose fat. Two simple ways to get things going in the right direction (henceforth referred to as the golden rules): either eliminate some ⚡ foods or replace them with lean proteins and/or plant carbs.
Elimination.
Eliminate some of the non-lean proteins, fats, and energy carbs you're eating. Make sandwiches with only one slice of bread. Fry eggs in less butter. Making a few small changes like this every meal will shrink your energy supply.
Substitution.
Substitute some of the non-lean proteins, fats, and energy carbs with lean proteins and plant carbs. Substitution is easier than elimination. This is why people trying to quit smoking find something else to do instead of smoke (eat pretzels).
Eating pulled pork?
Replace it with pork tenderloin.
Eating red meat?
Replace it with turkey breast or chicken breast.
Eating rice?
Replace half your serving with broccoli.
Second, more structure.
Eat at least a hockey-puck-sized portion of proteins every feeding. Center at least half of your feedings around lean proteins and the other half around chubby proteins. (You can center more of your meals around lean proteins if you want?)
Eat a baseball-sized portion of plant carbs or fruits every feeding. No more than two fruit feedings, the others should be plant carbs.
Eat condensed forms of energy carbs and fats in ONLY one of your daily meal. Eat until satiated. Don't eat until stuffed.
If you do this and you're still not losing fat, then refer to the golden rules: either eliminate some ⚡ foods or replace them with lean proteins and/or plant carbs.
Third, most structure.
Eat one gram of protein per pound of weight every day (if you're obese, use lean body mass). For reference, a hockey-puck-sized portion of meat/fish contains around 25 grams of protein. Lean proteins are your best friend for this but don't be afraid to eat some chubby proteins.
Split your daily protein allotment somewhat evenly across your meals. The number of meals you eat doesn't matter. What matters is centering each feeding around proteins.
Eat one or two baseball-sized servings of fruit every day. Fruit is nutritious. You need nutrients.
Eat as many plant carbs as you want. Good rule of thumb is to eat either fruits or plant carbs with every meal, so if you aren't eating fruit, eat some plant carbs.
** let's pause here **
The makeup of your meals thus far should look like this:
LEAN PROTEIN or CHUBBY PROTEIN
FRUIT and/or PLANT CARB
The only types of food to add from here are condensed forms of energy: energy carbs, fats, and chubby proteins. Within this grouping, we can describe food as either main-course energy or accent energy.
Main-course energy.
These types of food tend to be rather robust and are typically at the forefront of a meal. For instance, potatoes and pasta are main-course energy. (Main-course energy tends to be energy carbs.)
Accent energy.
These types of foods are somewhat secretive and are typically either things that find their way into foods during the cooking process or things that accent meals (condiments, sauces). For instance, add butter to a skillet to fry eggs, then the butter is accent energy. Cheese added to eggs would also be considered accent energy. (Accent energy tends to be purgatory proteins and/or fats.)
For almost guaranteed fat loss:
Limit main-course energy to ONE meal and keep the calorie total under 10% of your weight. In other words, if you weigh 200 pounds, then in one of your meals you can have up to 200 calories of main-course energy.
Keep the accent energy to a minimum, with a calorie ceiling under 10% of your weight. In other words, if you weigh 200 pounds, then you should have no more than 200 calories of accent energy per day.
Every addition from this foundation takes you further away from guaranteed fat loss. Not saying it can't work, just that you shouldn't be surprised if it doesn't.
Fourth, the screwball.
Eat nothing but lean proteins and plant carbs two or three days per week. For instance, every Tuesday and Thursday you eat nothing but lean proteins and plants. On the other days of the week, healthy foods to satiety.
Two or three “screwball” days might create a big enough calorie crater to encourage fat loss. At the least, they'll probably prevent fat gain (provided you aren't eating like a rabid raccoon the other days of the week).
6. Problems
The downsides of losing fat without trying.
Lazy fat loss can be taken to the extreme. When you don't track how much you eat, you might undereat. Undereating can trigger undesirable metabolic adaptations. You have been warned.
Also, when you realize the power of lean proteins and plant carbs, you might fall into binge-and-purge cycles. You eat yourself to sleep like like a forty-year-old mother who smoked weed for the first time in twenty years after having one too many glasses of wine. You feel bad for cramming all those calories into you, so you decide to eat nothing but lean proteins and plant carbs for the next two days to purify yourself. Afterward, you binge again. Then purge. Then…
As mentioned, lazy fat loss is radioactive. In the wrong hands, boom. I am absolved of liability.
Also, lazy fat loss isn't perfect. It can work, but, at some point, you’ll probably need to keep an eye on everything you put into your body.
Probably.
7. Bonuses
Tips for keeping energy low and nutrients high.
Fermented foods like sauerkraut and kimchi are low-calorie and great for your gut health, but they have to be unpasteurized. (Unpasteurized fermented foods need to be kept cold.)
Organ meat is amazing. You'll get nutrients into your body you otherwise wouldn't. Beef liver is a lean protein and a great source of vitamins and minerals. You don't need to eat much. Two ounces per day is enough to pack a punch. Beef heart is also a great lean protein to add to your diet.
Sardines are cheap and a great source of omega-3 fatty acids. Save the canned tuna for the plebs.
Grass-fed beef is a superfood. Don't be shy.
Mustard and hot sauce typically don't contain many calories (always double-check the nutrition-facts label). Most condiments and salad dressings do.
Salsas are another ally, a way to add flavor to foods without a huge energy impact (always double-check the nutrition-facts label).
Boiling and cooking foods in water or baking them in the oven can save you calories, as compared to frying them in oil.