Two Meal Muscle
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Two Meal Muscle is the nuclear nutritional framework that I use to lose fat (despite drinking more beer than a Hobbit) and build muscle (without getting so fat I look like a creature on Jabba's sail barge).
$88
This diet is not for you.
I eat two meals a day. I eat cheese Danishes (the most superior pastry in all the land). I drink an embarrassing amount of craft beer (I'm a hazy beer boy, sue me). I eat a large satisfying meal every night, even when I'm leaning down. I don't weigh anything I eat.
I can lose fat with an astonishing level of ease. I can also build muscle without getting so fat I'm uncomfortable in my skin.
This diet is stupid simple.
This diet is also mine.
It's not for everyone.
Some of my strategies are nuclear.
In the wrong hands
☠ BOOM ☠
As they say, with great power comes great responsibility.
One of the things that makes this diet so powerful is my ludicrous-speed approach to fat loss. If you know what types of foods to eat, you can lose fat without trying. And without starving yourself.
These foods are my cheat code.
This cheat code is why I can eat more garbage than the dumpster behind the local Long John Silver's and stay lean.
This cheat code is why I'm able to lose fat quickly. A little too quickly, in fact. Like in Spaceballs when Lord Helmet pushes his ship to ludicrous speed and they go to plaid.
You might lose control when you go to plaid.
But that’s the price you pay for power.
I used to be obsessed with food.
When I was a freshman in college, I gave my nutrition professor my nutrition journal. I thought she'd be impressed. I tracked every caloric-infused crumb I ate.
She told me I had an eating disorder.
I didn't believe her.
I should have.
Food ran my life.
I used to live in three-hour segments, thinking I had to eat a small meal every three hours or else my muscles would wither away.
I used to avoid social situations because I was afraid they would interfere with my diet. My girlfriend left me because I became a shut-in.
I used to binge on so-called “junk foods” until I couldn't breathe because I had an all-or-nothing mindset. I was either “on” my diet and eating foods I thought were healthy, or I was “off” my diet and cramming as much nonsense into my body as I could.
So stupid.
Things have changed.
Lots of things.
For the better.
I only eat two meals now.
I'm not nearly as obsessed with food as I used to be. I don't fear social situations, even when they're food-based. I don't spend my Sundays stuffing boiled chicken breast and white rice inside cancer-causing Tupperware containers. I don't weigh apples on a scale before I eat them. I eat cheese Danishes (the most superior pastry in all the land) and I don't feel guilty.
If you want to eavesdrop and learn the ins and outs of Two Meal Muscle, then you know what to do.
Why are you still here?
You must like foreplay. I'll feed your need with a behind-the-scenes look at what you'll find inside Two Meal Muscle:
one
The “cheat-code” foods I eat to lose fat without trying.
two
The unconventional and frowned upon (yet stupid effective) ludicrous-speed strategy that allows me to eat with a level of freedom others envy.
three
The irrational two-meal feeding structure I religiously abide by (and how, even though it's not necessary, it glues all of my strategies together).
four
The #1 reason I don't bulk like a bodybuilder to build muscle.
five
Why an obsession with calories is downright dangerous (a lesson even the dumbest pirate could teach you).
six
The high-tide & low-tide strategy I use to clean bulk, which is to gain muscle without getting fat.
seven
Why the macronutrients are stupid (macronutrients are foods, duh) and the six categories I filter foods through.
eight
The difference between static cycles and chaotic cycles (and which one is better).
nine
The unique “backloading” strategy I use and how it helps me “get away” with eating things I probably shouldn't.
ten
How I'm able to eat a big fulfilling dinner and keep my calorie intake to a shocking minimum.
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And more…
What do you say?
The details.
Two Meal Muscle is housed on a private portion of my website known as the Arcade. Directly after purchase, you’ll create a username and password for the Arcade, and you’ll be able to access Two Meal Muscle immediately (and from any device).
Don't worry, Two Meal Muscle isn't a poorly designed PDF. The Arcade is an extension of my website. My website is mobile-friendly (and oh-so pretty).
Also, Two Meal Muscle is rather short and sweet, like Fruit Stripe gum. There's no fluff. This is not a fifty-five-hour masterclass with dozens of videos. This is mostly words. Some pictures. But, mostly words.