Journal

big deck energy.

started the day with CARs and even did some upper-body mobilizations, in prep for an upper-body day. alas, didn't happen. made the decision to finish the deck (and sweat out every beer i drank yesterday) instead of train.

there are one too many house projects hovering over my happiness. yesterday, i changed an overhead electric outlet in one of the bathroom closets. thing stopped working YEARS ago. i just let it be. every time i’d open the closet, i’d reach for the cord, to turn on the light. then i’d get mad at myself for pulling the cord, despite knowing the light wasn’t going to turn on. then i’d get mad because there was no light and i couldn’t see anything.

took me five minutes to replace.

FIVE MINUTES.

i procrastinated for years.

owning a house is dumb.

lunch was, once again, liquid courage. i should take pictures of all of the beers i drink, for posterity. and so you can see what’s really going down, warts and all. probably had… 6-7 beers yesterday. i’m talking 16oz pours, not 12oz cans. i’m not proud of this (i’m not embarrassed by it either), but i think noting it is useful, for context.

after two beers and 1.5 bloody mary's, my body said, “stop it, please.” i didn't listen because it took forever for our dinner to arrive. this is usually how it goes: i drink to pass the time before dinner. and on the weekend, our dinner plans are anything but consistent. had two more beers, then called it quits.

guess I should also mention. for context, most of the beers i drink are high ABV craft beers. the worst kind of beer you can drink if you care about body fat.

bloody mary's included a grilled cheese sandwich and millionaire bacon. guess you can consider this my lunch.

things i ate today: zucchini bread, a lemon, two habaneros, raw milk, swordfish with greens and a piece of bacon, mussels, spinach tomato pizza, half of a pork chop sandwich, brownies, and pasta (not pictured).

today felt like one giant out-of-body experience. i was there, but i wasn’t. i blame the pool. took our kids to the local YMCA, to swim. was only in the water for about 30 mins, but my body left there without its brain.

my body seemed… achy. had “old man” pain in my joints. was also cold. wearing a sweatshirt around the house. this isn’t atypical, as i hole up in the basement next to the air conditioning trying its best to cool down our stupid split-level house. something felt different about it all today, though…

missed all training today.

let’s just say my mental health wasn't where it needed to be today.

lunch was liquid courage.

dinner was chicken thighs, eggs, bacon, home fries, and cranberry walnut bread with honey toppings. dessert was an apple and a banana with raw milk.

now that Em Rata is single, i need to step up my game. take this “bodybuilding” thing seriously. SOMEONE TELL ME I HAVE A CHANCE.

lower-body day. CARs. couch stretch followed by the following mobilizations: 90/90, heel-elevated step-ups, unilateral good mornings, hover step-ups, and knees-over-toes calf raises. (forgot to do some things, but that's okay. still productive.) the knees-over-toes calf raises nearly crippled me, in a good way. lower-leg muscles were on fire. i only did two sets.

taking it easy on the hammy. 3×20@45 good mornings. felt a decent pull on the hamstring with these, which was expected, even though i don't feel anything WITHOUT weight (which is a great sign).

if i were smart, i'd do good mornings every other day for the next few weeks, adding ten pounds to the bar every session, decreasing the reps over time. (i'm not smart, so i probably won't do this.)

modified knees-over-toes lunges. 3×3@180 wide-grip low pulls. probably should have used more weight on these considering my hamstrings survived barbell rows with this weight a few days ago. that's okay. i'm in no rush.

lunch: raw liver shake; burger, egg yolk, and raw yogurt with walnuts and dark chocolate.

dinner: poke, guacamole; eggplant in red sauce with cheese; three chicken thighs, guacamole, mac and cheese, tiny piece of cranberry walnut bread with honey toppings; ice cream.

i don't know when i became an ice-cream guy, but i am now an ice-cream guy. for the past fifteen years, i had no desire for ice cream. now i want ice cream every night.

china out here conducting military drills and I'm supposed to care about how deep the grooves are between my abdominal muscles? THERE ARE PFAs IN RAINWATER AND I'M SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT HOW STRONG MY HIP FLEXORS ARE?

is any of this going to make a difference? my entire childhood was a steady diet of PFAs. had to be. is eating raw liver going to save me?

strolled up to the window and got two ice creams. i don't plan on sharing with anyone, that's how optimistic i am. fortunately, my body dysmorphia prevented me from eating the second ice cream. more on this later.

lunch was a raw liver shake plus ground beef and assorted plant matter topped with raw cheddar.

i normally eat lean proteins for lunch. past two days, i ate ground beef for lunch. difference in satiety is ASTOUNDING. normally, around 5-6pm, i'm ready to eat. i'm not famished or anything, but my stomach flips the sign to open for biz. not the past two days. felt fully content at that time of day, like i just finished a meal ten minutes ago.

dinner was cabbage topped with a white bean and chicken mixture flanked by three hamburgers. (white beans and chicken were a part of some kind of soup my wife made long ago, but not long enough for my anti-food-waste brain. the soup had some kind of cream sauce, but I dumped most of that down the sink because i didn't want to drink 1000 calories of heavy cream.)

felt full after dinner. ate chocolate ice cream anyway. don't know why i got chocolate ice cream. i don't like chocolate ice cream. i like vanilla ice cream. chocolate is a welcome addition to vanilla ice cream, but it can't be the base.

(it was delicious.)

totally content after, yet i wanted to eat the second ice cream i bought. put the kids to bed and, after one too many back-and-forths with the ice-cream devil on my shoulder, i ate a well-done habanero and drank some raw milk. that kicked my ice-cream craving.

funny how i was the most full and satisfied i felt after dinner in a while, and i struggled with wanting to eat, eat, eat… this is congruent with my binge-eating days. easier to stop eating early. instinct is to eat until you feel full, but it doesn't happen.

today was a misfit day, which is to say: i trained stuff i'm interested in, but don't have time to train on my other training days.

did CARs in the morning. afternoon hit j-curls and reverse crunches. three sets. two sets of side crunches. three sets of reverse squats and bridge push-ups. two sets of tib raises (after static stretching). some calf raises. forgot to do knees-over-toes calf raises. finished with hip flexor stretch.

hamstring improving nicely. definitely felt a pull on the j-curls, but it opened up nicely as the reps (and blood flow) increased.

my head hated me this morning. guess my all-day buzz was a bit deeper than i thought it was. my body shut down last night. first time that's ever happened to me (sans blackout drunk). i was lying in bed and it was impossible for me to keep my eyes open. i was trying. couldn't. was a strange sensation.

my liver can't be happy. i need to detox. and i'm not talking about a white-girl detox. i need to stop throwing toxins into my body. literal toxins.

back to training today. felt good. started with CARs. upper-body mobilizations included: weighted external rotations, weighted sleepers (only on left side — being cautious with right arm since softball is still in season), high and low prisoners, and external rotation liftoffs with overhead reaches.

4×5@95 overhead presses with a five-second overhead hold on last rep superset with 4×5 pull-ups with a ten-second dead hang on last rep. really trying to experiment with my overhead press technique, trying to find SOME answers as to where my discomfort is coming from. as of now, i'm empty-handed.

ring support holds and power cleans came next. power cleans were barely power cleans. 95 pounds on the bar, not really exploding. always wanted to get back into power cleans. i used to do 5×5@225 and my upper back was jacked. i believe power cleans for 5s are great for upper-back growth.

i stopped doing them a while ago for reasons i can't remember. haven't done them recently despite wanting to because controlling the eccentric (i don't have bumpers) hurt my shoulder. so i'm starting light and crossing my fingers.

3×6@190 barbell rows. some mild tugging in hammies, but not too bad. superset these with ring dips. two reps per set. i think i'm going to ditch ring dips in the future and do some kind of push-up on the rings instead.

finished with curls and overhead triceps extensions. one set to somewhat failure. didn't have the stank in me to push these very hard.

lunch was ground beef with carrots. love this combo. raw yogurt, dark choco, walnuts, banana. also digging this. crunchy vibes.

dinner was cabbage with some stuff that was in soup my wife made. white beans, chicken, and bacon in some kind of cream sauce. also had some mac and cheese with three chicken thighs. raw liver shake.

late-night snack was half a banana and a scoop of peanut butter with some cashews for crunch. raw milk. wasn't hungry but kids left a half-eaten banana on the counter, and i had to come to the rescue.

did tons of work on the deck today. let's consider this “practical” hamstring rehab.

Reggie's coffee day. wonderful. unfortunately, this was the only positive part of the day (from a six-pack ab's perspective).

worked on the back deck for a good bit this morning. guess i never really mentioned this before. pretty self-explanatory. been replacing a bunch of rotten wood on our back deck. as with most “summer projects,” it has taken way longer than i wanted it to.

had friends over around noon. beers were drunk. many beers. didn't get drunk, just rode an all-day buzz. usually leads to eating too much food at night. today was no exception.

lunch was liquid courage.

dinner was a bunch of ground meat, zuchs, tomatoes, cheese. had two bowls of that. also had a bowl with some veggies and raw fish. sushi (not pictured). for dessert, ate brownies and milk. had two portions of that. pictures only show one.

didn't train today. not even CARs. hamstring feels good. did lots of bending while working on the deck, so i don't feel like a complete loser.

morning CARs today. hamstring seems stable, which is great. feels better today than it did yesterday. at this rate, i don't think i'll need extravagant rehab.

lunch was a raw liver shake. wasn't too hungry, but wanted to get nutrients in me after a weekend of toxins.

dinner was plants and cottage cheese followed by more barbeque. ice cream for dessert.

no training today. wanted a rest day after a rather wild weekend. rather unremarkable day. just what i needed.

sleeping over a friend's house when you're 35 years old is a strange experience. took me back to high school, except we didn't watch softcore porn on mute and make our own dialogue. woke up every hour in a state of confusion. hamstring was throbbing. terrible night, all around.

woke up at 5:30am. hit some CARs, to see where my hamstring was at. suffice to say, sore. tight. (CARs are a great way to evaluate your current state of readiness.) no bruising, which is a plus.

wanted to get out of my friend's house before he woke up.

scheduled screwed our softball team this year. beyond the Ding-A-Ling, there was another tournament scheduled for today. most everyone wanted me to stay at the Ding-A-Ling. with my average, i had a chance to win some gnarly accolades, like King Ding-A-Ling. i felt like my skills would help more at the other tournament, so i went rogue. got out of the house to avoid an awkward conversation.

holed up in a Starbucks. nothing worse than Starbucks coffee start the day. there's a coffee shop by me called Reggie's. they have a single-origin brew every morning that's killer. Starbucks tastes like burnt burnt. like, if you take burnt, and burn it again, that's Starbucks.

had lots of time to kill before the start of the tournament. one thing i DIDN'T do: wonder why i pulled my hamstring. trying to play detective to determine the cause of injury is, for the most part, a fool's errand. injuries happen when a tissue's ability to deal with a force is exceeded. many factors are at play. could it have been because i woke up an hour earlier? could it have been because i did a combo training session yesterday? could it have been because i drank a Busch latte at 8am yesterday? perhaps bending over to work on my back deck the past week? pushing j-curls hard recently?

all of the above?

in the end, understanding an injury is more important than knowing WHY an injury happens.

Starbucks caffeine hit me and i made a special trip to a grocery store at 7am to buy overpriced alkaline water and defile their public toilet. to my surprise, the toilet was occupied. there were no customers in the store. your guess is as good as mine.

back on the road, to Panera. holed up there until game time. played a total of five games. climbed out of the losers' bracket. won the championship. i was crowned MVP.

hamstring loosened up a lot as the day went on, to the point where i sprinted to first base. it was more of a gallop. had a limp right leg, but i was moving.

beers were drunk throughout the tournament.

came home, ate some more jerky, and then feasted on barbeque. various meats, mac and cheese. giant ribs. two bananas with peanut butter and raw milk.

felt good to get some real food in my belly.

nothing like a Busch latte (light) to start the day.

in my experience, nothing good comes from having your first beer at 8am, so i shouldn't be surprised i pulled my hamstring today. more on this later.

it's Ding-A-Ling weekend. the Ding-A-Ling is a softball tournament in middle-of-nowhere Pennsylvania. unlike most softball leagues, you're restricted to single-wall bats, which means the ball doesn't travel nearly as far (or as fast). the game is announced as you play. it's an invite-only tournament. there's history — been going on for as long as the Super Bowl. they keep your stats for life. they serve large beers.

i like large beers.

this is the first year my team got the invite.

to get to the field in time, woke up an hour earlier than normal. downed some coffee. hit my CARs, although they didn't feel great. for whatever reason, i felt “crampy,” as if i was gonna break into a cramp during many of the mobilizations. this isn't unheard of, especially if you're new to CARs. i'm not new, so it was strange, but i didn't think much of it. little did i know, it was foreshadowing.

(by the way, morning CARs are essential. they're a general warm-up for the entire day. i won't have to do a goofy general warm-up before my games. i'll throw a ball some. i'll swing a bat some. then i'll be ready to go.)

drove to a friend's house. he lives halfway between my house and the field. crashing at his place for the night.

enter: 8am Busch latte.

started throwing, to loosen up. right shoulder wasn't happy. strange feeling deep in the socket, likely from the weighted sleeper mobilizations i did two days prior. i'm dumb. i shouldn't have done something new, knowing i wanted to be fresh and healthy for this tournament. new things should only be done when you can face the potential consequences of doing new things.

when i took the field, i was worried. thought one throw would dislocate my shoulder. turns out, didn't have to worry about my shoulder at all. second game, second at bat, i pulled my hamstring after rounding second. finished the day 6-7.

hamstring pull felt like a cramp, initially. sort of like the ones you get in your calf in the middle of the night. a harsh contraction you have to ride out, then stretch out. afterward, you're insanely sore.

the worst part about injuring yourself at a softball game is dealing with the mountain of misinformed meatheads giving you injury advice. one guy told me i shouldn't move it at all. another guy grabbed a bat and rolled my hamstring. “oh, it's knotted,” he said. “just gotta make sure that knot doesn't go higher.”

last time i checked, muscles don't tie themselves into knots, let alone knots that are able to climb up and down muscle bellies like Donkey Kong.

beer flowed. i can drink infinite light beer on an empty stomach. i don't know if having an empty stomach helps? Liver King recommends drinking alcohol on an empty stomach because it helps the liver “do its thing.” i don't know if i believe this (because Liver King is nothing more than a mascot), but it's something i think about.

beer throughout the day and night. at least five shots of tequila. wasn't the slightest bit drunk.

only thing i ate today was beef jerky.

I AM AN OVERACHIEVER!

felt bad about “missing” a training day. have softball all weekend, so i know i won't lift. made up for the miss by doing two sessions today. my old rule, back before i had kids, was never miss a training day. even if you miss a training day, make up for it. this was when i had a steady weekly rotation. in other words, every Monday was “Day A.” every Wednesday was “Day B”…

my training split is a little wonky now, as there is no set weekly rotation, so i don't really stick to this rule, but i strive to train at least five days per week. (when you consider the misfit day in my rotation, this is less than impressive.)

first session today was the usual misfit stuff, done with a little less volume, to compensate for time. hit j-curls pretty hard. really trying to expand my range of motion, stretch the hammies. they've been feeling good. glad i'm doing them. superset them with reverse crunches. side crunches. reverse squats and bridge push-ups. bridge push-ups felt AMAZING today. felt “open” from the very first rep. no explanation as to why. (maybe the weighted sleeper mobilization i did yesterday?)

hit legs after. 3×8@95 on good mornings, which is light. know this weekend is going to be a bit much with sprinting (running the bases, playing outfield). also, will be drinking plenty of beers, and i won't eat nearly enough nourishing foods. remainder of workout was typical. modified knees-over-toes lunges. 3×3@270 wide-grip low pulls.

lunch was two cans of tuna. raw yogurt with apple skins, a banana, dark chocolate, and walnuts. dinner was cabbage, a burger, some fries, and cottage cheese. late-night snack was a liver shake, habanero, chicken breast, and ice cream.

making a push to get some nutrients in me.

been eating three times per day recently, thanks to taking the kids to get ice cream more often than we should. we usually take them after dinner, and i've been eating a smaller dinner in case the urge to devour ice cream takes over me.

it's not ideal. i don't like eating late. sometimes, with kids, eating late is unavoidable. many times, it's just me wanting to enjoy my food… or choosing to drink beer instead. regardless, i'm not too worried about it. ice cream will stop when it gets cold. just trying to enjoy the look on my kids' face when we get there.

Morning 3-D ROTATIONS. Aloof upper-body mobilizations included WEIGHTED EXTERNAL ROTATIONS, WEIGHTED SLEEPERS, HIGH & LOW PRISONERS, EXTERNAL ROTATION LIFTOFFS WITH REACH OVERHEAD.

Left shoulder hasn't felt right the past few days. Don't remember what I did to anger it. Could only manage 2 reps of weighted external rotations with ten-pound kettlebell. Normally do 8 to 10. After the remaining mobilizations, shoulder perked up.

4×5@95 OVERHEAD PRESSES with a five-second overhead hold on last rep superset 4×5 PULL-UPS with a ten-second dead hang on last rep. (This is me trying to restore my pain-free overhead range of motion under a load. Not trying to add weight or do more reps right now.)

Easy BARBELL ROWS 3×5@175 superset with 3×2 RING DIPS. First time doing ring dips in… years? Starting slow. Three sets of RING SUPPORTS followed. Five mini-flies and then a five-second hold (with shoulders/elbows supinated). Finished with BRIDGE ROWS and WEIGHTED P-BAR PUSH-UPS, 10-5-F.

LUNCH was raw yogurt, dark chocolate, walnuts, and half of a banana (kid ate the other half). Bigger portion of yogurt than I'd usually have, but was rather smelly and I thought I should finish it before it was too late.

DINNER was cabbage and green beans topped with a mixture of ground beef and other assorted plants. Cheddar cheese on top. Cottage cheese and guacamole to the side. Raw liver smoothie. Just felt like my body could use the nutrients.

SNACK was leftover beef my kids didn't eat (the nerve) with guacamole that was going to turn. Habanero because I hate myself. Chocolate chip scone and enough raw milk to make me happy.

Morning 3-D ROTATIONS. That's all. Took the kids into town. Met grandparents. Galavanted.

LUNCH was a bit of sushi. Two beers. Some soft pretzel. Drank three more beers leading into…

DINNER was a pastrami sandwich and half a reuben sandwich with chips. Chocolate chip cookie and chocolate chip scone with raw milk.

This was a great “off” day for me. I didn't eat well, but I didn't eat crazy amounts. Also stopped drinking early. Wish I could have snuck in a training session, but at least I did CARs.

Morning 3-D ROTATIONS. Lazily done lower-body mobilizations for today included COUCH STRETCH, 90/90s, ISO LUNGE PULSES, PETERSEN STEP-UPS, UNI GOOD MORNINGS, HOVER STEP-UPS, and SISSY SQUATS. (Sissy squats are primitive. Tiny range of motion.)

GOOD MORNINGS for 3×10@125 superset with 3×8@BW KOT MODIFIED LUNGE. Was supposed to do good mornings with 130, but after the weekend, I thought it'd be best to repeat the previous week's weight. Finished with easy WIDE-GRIP HIGH PULLS for 3×3@265.

LUNCH was raw yogurt, dark chocolate, walnuts, and a banana.

DINNER was plants and cottage cheese, and pork chops.

SNACK was cheese, egg yolk (kid ate the white), yogurt with walnuts, bread with honey toppings and jelly, scoop of peanut butter, and raw milk.

Morning 3-D ROTATIONS. After a weekend of alcohol and junk food, I thought it'd be best to hit my misfit day, to get the blood flowing and reboot my body.

Today's work consisted of TIB RAISES, CALF RAISES, KOT CALF RAISES, J CURLS, REVERSE CRUNCHES, SIDE CRUNCHES, REVERSE SQUATS, and BRIDGE PUSH-UPS.

LUNCH was two cans of tuna, jalapenos, egg yolks, and hot sauce. Raw yogurt with walnuts and dark chocolate.

DINNER was brussels sprouts, zucchini, and asparagus with cottage cheese. Pork chops with barbeque sauce. Cinnamon roll with raw milk.

Had a softball game tonight. Played bad. Still feeling foggy from the weekend.

Return home from family reunion.

LUNCH was a few beers.

DINNER was take-out food from brunch (my kids' leftovers). Eggs, sausage, and bacon between two pancakes (I cooked up at least four of my own eggs and added them). Potatoes on the side.

SNACK was a slice of pizza, cinnamon roll, and raw milk.

Feeling jiggly.

Reunion.

Swimming.

Bloody Mary. Beer. Snacks. Beer. Pizza.

Unlike yesterday, I remember everything I ate.

Morning 3-D ROTATIONS. Was able to squeeze in most of my misfit work today. TIB RAISES, CALF RAISES, KOT CALF RAISES, J CURLS, REVERSE CRUNCHES, SIDE CRUNCHES, REVERSE SQUATS, and BRIDGE PUSH-UPS.

Didn't do as many sets as I wanted. Left for a family reunion (out of state) around lunch.

LUNCH was beers. Beers. More beers. Way too many beers.

DINNER was a sandwich consisting of pork and macaroni and cheese in between two pieces of very buttery bread (that I don't remember eating). Also, sweet potato fries (that I don't remember eating). Also, a cinnamon roll (that I don't remember eating).

Morning 3-D ROTATIONS. Mindlessly performed upper-body mobilizations included WEIGHTED EXTERNAL ROTATIONS and HIGH PRISONERS.

4×5@95 OVERHEAD PRESSES with a five-second overhead hold on last rep superset 4×5 PULL-UPS with a ten-second dead hang on last rep. (This is me trying to restore my pain-free overhead range of motion under a load. Not trying to add weight or do more reps right now.)

Easy BARBELL ROWS 3×5@175. Three sets of RING SUPPORTS followed. Five mini-flies and then a five-second hold (with shoulders/elbows supinated). Finished with CURL PRESSES and OVERHEAD TRICEPS EXTENSIONS 10-5-F.

Morning 3-D ROTATIONS. Lazily done lower-body mobilizations for today included COUCH STRETCH, 90/90s, ISO LUNGE PULSES, PETERSEN STEP-UPS, UNI GOOD MORNINGS, and HOVER STEP-UPS.

GOOD MORNINGS for 3×10@125 superset with 3×8@BW KOT MODIFIED LUNGE. Finished with easy WIDE-GRIP HIGH PULLS for 3×3@260.

LUNCH was two cans of tuna with spices and mustard. Raw yogurt with a banana.

Dinner was cabbage, chicken, cottage cheese, and a burger. Topped with pickled banana peppers. Raw cheese, banana, peanut butter, and raw milk.