You should be skeptical of anyone who shows their skin for a living and promises to make you healthier.
I am not healthy.
Obesity is bad. Don’t listen to body-positive influencers. You shouldn’t be obese if you care about longevity or quality of life. If you don’t care about living until you're wrinkly or being able to put your shoes on your feet without breaking a sweat, then eat until your veins can’t pump the corn syrup you call blood back to your heart. I won’t even make you feel guilty for consuming an amount of food that’d save the lives of at least two children in developing countries.
Ignorance is bliss.
And so is ice-cream cake.
It’s easy to assume what I do is healthy because it can be indirectly described as making people not obese. But there’s a MAJOR difference between not wanting to be at risk for major health problems and building the sort of body your barista talks about under her breath (after you order a black coffee).
I’ve been doing this long enough to know most people want the cut body more than the clean bill of health, and the level of commitment (read: obsession) required for such a thing comes with a fair amount of “unhealthy” baggage.
I think about how lean I am every day; I lift my shirt and check to see my abdominal definition. I get anxious when I have to attend more than two eating-based social events in one week; I either underfeed prior to the events or don’t eat at the events (at this point, I enjoy the awkwardness). I feel guilty when I don’t lift; I do pull-ups every week even though I have elbow tendonitis and can barely put a sheet on my pillow.
When I was sixteen years old, before my body dysmorphia sucked me into this body-obsessed black hole, I didn’t think twice about what I ate. I never thought, I really should/shouldn’t eat that. I ate what I wanted to eat. I ate when I wanted to eat.
I can’t remember what this feels like.
I'm not leading you into this dark corner to scare you. I want to free you. The promises weight-loss widgets make often read like satire.
LOSE FAT! AND GET HEALTHIER! AND BECOME MORE CONFIDENT! AND FEEL HAPPIER! AND GET THE GIRL! AND NAIL YOUR DREAM JOB! AND RESURRECT LOVED ONES FROM THE DEAD!
Wanna know what happens when you lose fat?
You get leaner.
Any other promises attached to fat loss are hanging by one of those cartoon ropes that's nearly severed, one thread holding things together (like my optimism as I write this; I probably shouldn't publish this).
Glitter is often superglued atop this body-obsessed black hole to justify the absurd nature of spending a skyscraping amount of time (and money) obtaining a few extra grooves in your abdomen that no one cares about but yourself. The only guaranteed outcome (being leaner) isn't juicy enough. You need additional perks. Six-pack abs aren't just plumage, they'll also turn you into the king of confidence!
Not me.
I find comfort in the absurdity.
I hate the glitter.
I can't see something that's not there.
You’re eating plants and animals. You’re lifting rocks. People did this stuff before language was invented. This isn't special.
If you want to lose fat and get six-pack pixelated, then knock your socks off. If you’re drawn to it, be drawn to it. I wouldn’t fight it. I don’t think you can fight it, really.
Just adjust your expectations.
Losing fat will make you leaner.
Beyond that?
I’m not so sure.
You shouldn’t be either
May the (depressing) Gains be with you,
Ant