Table of Contents
This is my diet.
This is the diet I use to lose fat with ease. This is the diet I use to build muscle (not with ease because building muscle is 10x more difficult than losing fat and I'd never lie to you about that). This is the diet I use to stay in six-pack shape despite drinking more beer than a Hobbit and eating with a freedom others would frown upon.
I'm being serious when I say this is my diet. I'd never tell you or anyone to adopt this diet. Not because it doesn't work (it does), but because some of the strategies are nuclear and not safe for some.
I would know.
This is descriptive.
This is not prescriptive.
Proceed with caution.
Part 1: A superficial overview of how this diet works.
This diet is like a watch. Beneath the simple-looking surface layer that ticks and tocks, there's a more complex system controlling the show. Some foreshadowing will make it easier to understand the madness behind the method.
Part 2: Setting the system with the Status Quo Standard.
My diet is erratic. I toggle between objectives on a week-to-week (if not a day-to-day) basis. Once the system is set, turning the dial back and forth is a breeze because there's only one small difference between dieting for fat loss and dieting for muscle growth.
Part 3: Creating an actual Status Quo Standard.
Turning the Status Quo Standard into an actual food intake is anything but an exact science because the known science doesn't force slavery. Beyond eating nourishing foods (and, oppositely, limiting foods that don't agree with your body), there aren't many rock-steady rules. Personal preference has a heavy hand in the process.
Part 4: Modifying the system for fat loss and muscle growth.
The system was set with a nutrient intake that fosters muscle growth and an energy intake that maintains the status quo. Modifying toward either fat loss or muscle growth is easy.
Part 5: Putting the system into play with static and chaotic strategies.
Modifying the system requires toggling energy intake toward an objective. The appearance this ultimately assumes depends on the approach. There's the vacuum, which is how I'd use them in an ideal world, one where I don't lust for Monte Cristo sandwiches and hyped-up hazy beers. And then there's how my degenerate self actually uses these strategies in the delicious real world.
Part 6: What determines my objective? The approach informing the strategy.
The approach is different than the strategy. The strategy is how I lose fat and build muscle. You're familiar with this. The approach is what determines my objective: Am I trying to lose fat or build muscle? This depends on a few different factors.
Part 7 (Bonus): Read this if you are stupid and want to become a Two Meal Muscler.
Two Meal Muscle is descriptive, not prescriptive. It works for me. I don't know if it will work for you. In the event you're stupid you want to become a Two Meal Muscler, here's some parting advice.
(Bonus) Changelog: What I currently eat and what I used to eat.
This changelog contains the specifics of my current diet as well as previous versions of my diet.