the “WYSAITI” issue.

I wanted to punch him in the face.

I didn’t know who “he” was. It could have been a “she” for all I knew. I’m all for equal rights. Girls deserve facial fist imprints, just as much as guys. I know how feminism works. Did I pass the test, Lena?

I can’t lift my arm overhead right now. My maximum overhead range of motion would be adequate if I were in the Schutzstaffel. I was in a UTV accident, which resulted in a grade-three shoulder separation. In other words, one of the ligaments holding my collar bone to my shoulder blade is shredded worse than hipster jeans.

I'm not using a sling. (My rehab ideas aren't mainstream. Story for another day.) And because I'm not wearing a sling, I had the following scenario running on repeat through my overthinking (insecure) nerd brain:

Someone was going to give me flak for not being able to perform an overhead physical task.

Maybe it’d be an old lady at the supermarket, asking me to reach a zombie-apocalypse-sized bag of cat food from the overstock shelf. I’d be all, “I’m sorry madam, but my apparently capable 6’4” chassis can’t accomplish this task for you at the moment. Good luck. Don’t slip and fall in the bathtub tonight. May the odds be ever in your favor.”

And then she'd be all, “Oh for Pete's sake, this younger generation is a bunch of hairless sissies.”

And then I'd be all, “No, you don't understand. I really can't grow a beard. I've tried. I have a high 2D:4D ratio. You have to believe me. Also, you're rude. I'm redacting what I said earlier. I hope you DO fall in the bathtub. Break your hip and go gangrenous you old hag.”

Someone was going to make a snarky comment about me on account of my current disability. (Ha! Disability. I’m mashing all sorts of politically correct buttons right now. I might as well be playing Tekken as Eddy Gordo.)

This snarky commentator was who I was prepared to punch.

I got my chance.

I was boarding an airplane to Hawaii.

And I couldn't lift my carry-on luggage into the overhead bin, so I did the sensible thing: I forced my 5'2″ lady-friend to lift it for me.

I’m coaching (verbally abusing) her. “Use your muscles! I'm going to file for a divorce if you don't kegel that thing up there!” And that’s when it happened. A man behind us projected an overt sarcastic tone in our direction. “It’s nice that you’re helping,” he said.

WHY SO PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE, BATMAN?

I turned around. Looked at him. He was old. He was wearing a hat decorated with military pins. He was a veteran. I didn't care. I kept the promise I made to myself, and I knuckle-punched him in the nostril.

Just kidding. I didn't punch him, despite my philosophy on happiness. I kept my cool. I turned his way, I pointed at my sling, and I said,

“Your dick probably works better than my arm does right now.”

Those weren't my exact words, but you get the idea…

This is where you interrupt my story and ask: “But, Anthony, I thought you weren't wearing a sling?” Good observation, Columbo. You actually read my writing. Here's the thing: I had the sling around my neck during the boarding process. I anticipated this moment. I am hyperaware of what other people think. I knew I was going to be judged.

The old man's face melted into apologetic regret. He didn't see my sling. And you know what? Witnessing his emotional 180° felt good. I'm a bad person. Whatever. I know this. Why not add a few more pancakes to the plate and make it a tall stack?

When the plane landed, the old man helped us with our luggage. He also helped me put my backpack on (when you only have one arm, putting a backpack is like solving a Rubik's cube).

He was obviously a kind man with a gentle soul, but he got owned by the WYSIATI heuristic.

WYSIATI is an acronym created by Daniel Kahneman that stands for What You See Is All There Is.

We make decisions and judgments without stepping back and asking ourselves, “What information don't I have? What can't I see?” Instead, we use the information readily available to us, no matter how limited. (Hint: it's always limited.)

The old man fell for WYSIATI. He didn't see my sling. He jumped to a conclusion about who I was as a person, despite having limited (almost zero) information.

He’s not alone.

You fall for it.

I fall for it.

I’m in the lobby of a hotel right now, making snap judgments about everyone I see. The guy wearing white-rimmed sunglasses must be a douc… oh wait that’s just my reflection in the mirror. The chick with butt cheeks hanging out of her bikini must be a slu… gift from God put on this earth for the sole purpose of my eyeballs right now; I’d be a fool not to stare.

WYSIATI has dozens of applications in dozens of fields. In relation to punching a WWII veteran, WYSIATI says: don't be too quick to judge others. Seems like a rather trite conclusion in today's age, which is why I'm gonna pivot to one more personal and pertinent.

Don't compare yourself to other people on social media.

I'm a rec league champion in the sport of comparing myself to other people. Thirty-one years and counting.

Comparing yourself to other people is dangerous because you never really compare yourself to other people. You compare yourself to the parts of other people you can see and not the parts you can't see. This is unfortunate. Because the visible parts are often the “best” parts.

Hence, publicists.

A diatribe on social media would be timely, as social media is a cesspool for WYSIATI, but it'd also be foolish. More foolish than using a cheese grater as toilet paper because using WYSIATI as a means of manipulation is as old as society itself.

Being your own publicist existed long before social media.

You keep your DUI a secret.
You don't wear pajamas to work.
You share pictures of your newborn.
You don't wear work clothes to the club.
You cake your face in makeup for parties.

You never really compare yourself to other people. When you compare yourself to someone else, you're comparing yourself to a PERSONA and not a PERSON.

I am a persona.
You are a persona.
Everyone is a persona.

WYSIATI has been a background program running inside of your mind, ever since you've been able to think. You need to constantly remind yourself: WYSI(SN'T)ATI.

There's another thing you need to consider, too.

You can't cure yourself of WYSIATI because WYSIATI isn't under your conscious control. The You that you think about when you consciously think about the You that you are isn't always in charge of your thoughts, beliefs, and judgments. You can consciously acknowledge that people aren't 100% defined by their clothes and physical appearance, yet it's been shown that we form impressions of people within (ready for this?) less than one second of meeting them.

You aren't always the true protagonist of your thoughts, whether you realize it or not. (Hint: You don't.) Overriding WYSIATI takes conscious effort. It's not easy, which is why we rarely do it.

By the way…

Did you judge me (prematurely) based on the headline?

WYSW(ASN'T)ATW

 

May the Gains be with you,
Ant