I Remember, I Don’t Remember

I remember telling myself I was going to train in between commercials of Toonami.

I remember dropping down one day to do push-ups, only being able to muster one or two, and then telling myself that I should quit.

I remember hating injuries.

I remember injuries leading to breakthroughs and always being smarter for having been injured.

I remember the ab wheel, the ab crunch machine thing, and even the electro-stimulation ab belt.

I remember standing on the front lawn with my cousin and telling him I was going to enter “training.” I was going to load up a backpack with rocks and run hills, just like Goku.

I remember the moment of ignition, the moment that I believed I had what it took to change myself.

I remember being scared to tell my parents I wanted to eat wheat bread.

I remember, almost always, doing a program that was way above my level of advancement because I thought normal stuff wouldn't work for me.

I remember eating six meals per day, and, quite effectively, losing 30 pounds.

I remember eating two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chips, fruit snacks, and a can of iced tea for lunch and thinking it was healthy.

I remember wearing two t-shirts when practicing kip-ups in front of my friends; the bottom shirt was tucked in to hide my stomach.

I remember doing light dumbbell “toning” (don’t ever use this word, please) exercises in my garage.

I remember doing the same program at two different times and getting two different results.

I remember obsessing about post workout nutrition.

I remember buying equipment for my garage, knowing that it was my only hope; I was too self conscious to train in public.

I remember fear, and lots of it, before just about every trick I ever tried for the first time.

I remember hating vegetables.

I never remember getting things right on the first try.

I never remember front squats feeling easy.

I never remember feeling like I had things figured out.

I never remember not wanting to program hop.

I never remember wanting to just look good; my body was a package deal in that I wanted to actually be capable.

I never remember things being easy.

I never remember a lot of self-confidence.

I never remember anything being more effective than the basics.

I never remember a short term solution working.

I never remember it being easy to deal with an injury.

I never remember traditional bulking being an effective strategy for me.

I never remember it being all play.

I never remember being motivated before every single training session, deliberate practice is the majority.

I never remember having a skimpy appetite.

I never remember there being a time in my life when I didn't benefit from eating more vegetables.

I never remember a supplement working without that whole training thing and nutrition thing also figured out.

I never remember being able to resist clicking any link that mentions some kind of Russian, Bulgarian, Chinese, or whatever old time Eastern Bloc “training secret.”

I remember starting.

I remember failing.

I never remember quitting.

Keep going.

Trying to lose fat, build muscle, and build a body you’re proud of?

Maybe you’re a little lost right now.

Maybe you don’t have much motivation.

Maybe you don’t what program or diet to use.

I don’t know…

But what I do know is this:

Everything you need is inside of you.

You’re capable of more than know.

You just have to open your eyes.

My weekly column can help.

Just a small little honest note from me sent every Sunday.

Unless I’m hungover.

And then it comes Monday.

What I’m trying to say is that it’ll come Monday.

(These weekly columns don’t get posted to the site.)

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • The Real Will October 22, 2013, 4:25 pm

    I love this! I remember about 90% of these same things, although being a skinny little kid that got picked on, I wanted to LOOK like Superman and in fact, learned how to draw watching Super Friends on Saturday mornings (too bad that every person I draw is muscular now…I had an art class in high school and remember my art teacher critiquing my picture of Jesus on the cross…”why is Jesus so muscular”, LOL!).

    And yes, I own the Bulgarian Burst sytem and every iteration of it too…don’t judge me.

    Very enjoyable read!

    • Anthony October 23, 2013, 12:32 am

      Looollol “hench jesus.” winning.

      Never heard of the bulgarian burst system. GOOGLE TIME.

      • The Real Will October 23, 2013, 3:45 am

        Yeah, I still have that Jesus drawing…if it wasn’t so big, I’d scan it and send it to you. 🙂

        The Bulgarian Burst System was written by Leo Costa.

        The next iteration was called ‘Serious Growth’ and the third one, he teamed up with Tom Platz and it was called Big Beyond Belief…also got the video to go along with BBB…and Dr. Mauro DiPasquale’s ‘Anabolic Diet’…I got ALL the extras that went with them.

        Those were the days when I was young and had money to burn on every training system and supplement that caught my interest at the time…good times, good times.

        • The Real Will October 23, 2013, 3:51 am

          OK, I just emailed it to you…I was able to scan it with the scanner lid open so I didn’t have to fold it.

          Not a great drawing but that’s all I can draw! 🙂

          • Anthony October 26, 2013, 6:44 pm

            Yeah, good stuff!

        • Anthony October 26, 2013, 6:44 pm

          Hah, nice. And good picture, too.

  • Dejan October 22, 2013, 8:57 pm

    Man it’s like reading my own story 🙂

    Only recently (big thanks to your blog) has athleticism become a huge part of my overall training philosophy. Therefore, this has to be my favorite:

    “I never remember to just look good, it was a package deal in that I also had to be able to do cool stuff with my body.”

    • Anthony October 23, 2013, 12:34 am

      Yeah, dunno why, it just was always on my mind.

  • Yannick Noah October 23, 2013, 2:30 am

    Awesome read ant, i remember doing most of the stuff you mentioned. I also remember i have never met anyone who wants to be Goku as much as you do. haha thank you for writing this sir

    • Anthony October 26, 2013, 6:43 pm

      Well, you know, childhood shapes haha.

  • Adam October 23, 2013, 2:34 am

    This was like my life story, too (except I’m a litter less further along the journey). I remember the first time I found a super weight gain muscle awesome bulk-up site, thought I’d discovered the fountain of youth and tried to memorize the front page, then went into the garage and almost died trying to bench one of those weird wavy easy curl bars.

    I’m glad I read this week’s blog. I was inspired. Thanks.

    • Anthony October 26, 2013, 6:43 pm

      Get jakt, my man. Get jakt.

  • thesecondname October 23, 2013, 9:24 am

    I never remember using machines in the gym was the key to big arms a 6pack ABS, masive trunks and shoulders. Bodyweight exercises amd barbell for life!

    • Anthony October 26, 2013, 6:44 pm

      Yeah, that seems to be the best foundation. Been around since 1900.

  • Slyvon Blanco October 23, 2013, 4:43 pm

    This is just too great.

    I REMEMBER going through 99% of these things myself.

    Awesome piece, Anthony.

    • Anthony October 26, 2013, 6:45 pm


  • Jeff October 29, 2013, 7:56 pm

    Very cool man. Keep up the good work!

    • Anthony November 5, 2013, 5:29 pm


  • Robert Arends January 24, 2014, 8:08 pm

    I also remember researching energy manipulation on top of all of this and actually getting great results… Now I’m in college and after procrastinating on mastering em for so long I will now.. Thanks for the read and additional ispiration onto my already humungous inspiration! God bless bro and Goku would be proud. You and I are alot alike Anthony my friend.

    • Anthony January 25, 2014, 12:03 pm

      I think Goku would be upset with me. I probably spend too much time thinking and not enough time training for his liking.