✳ What is this place?
A website. Welcome to the internet.
✳ Who are you?
I am Anthony.
✳ Why did you disappear from the Internet?
I am a prisoner of my own mind.
✳ Are you officially back?
I’m a health and physical education teacher now. I’m here because I want to be, not because I need to be.
✳ Are you the “skinny-fat” guy?
Before I disappeared, I spoke often of my skinny-fat past, and I helped a handful of other skinny-fat guys lose fat, build muscle, and build the sort of body they were proud showcase (without a shirt) on social media.
✳ Can you do a backflip?
My friends and I taught ourselves how to do backflips and other assorted acrobatics in our backyards when we were in high school. I stopped practicing when I hurt my shoulder.
✳ What happened to your shoulder?
My friend was held at gunpoint one night. Afterward, to help him decompress, we convinced him to do donuts in a side-by-side. I was in the passenger seat. I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. He rolled the side-by-side. I tore one of the ligaments holding my collar bone to my shoulder blade.
✳ Were you the guy that deadlifted 550 pounds, dunked a basketball, and cosplayed as Goku at Camp Nerd Fitness.
✳ Are you natty or not?
No one would ask me this question these days because I am but a shell of my former self. I have four children. I barely have time to sneeze, let alone strength train the way I used to. But I take Cut Rate Drugs.