An incredibly long and somewhat useful guide to understanding energy balance and body composition (or something)

A lot of dudes trying to get ripped and jacked anchor their ships in the energy balance model of body composition.

If you don't know what energy balance is or why its important, don't panic. This guide will teach you everything you need to know.

Including the fact that 95.9% of the people anchoring their ships in the energy balance model are going to end up swimming with the sharks.

Part one

How to eat Twinkies and Doritos and lose weight

Haub. Energy use and exercise. Cost of living. Eating and Birdman. Calories and capitalization. Vacuum cleaners and cords. Intake and output. 

→ Click here to read Part 1

Part two

Why counting calories is a game for idiots that are… idiotic. Pretend this sentence is a yo mamma joke, I'm out to offend.

Counting calories. Calculating output. Metabolic rate. Body composition. Physical activity. Soupy estimate orgies. Measuring intake. Bacon. Uncertainty.

→ Click here to read Part 2

Part three

If you're trying to “Lose Weight” then you're going to wreck yourself before you check yourself

Weight. Muscle. Human math. Brad Pitt as a number. This is gray text and I'm not even sure you're reading it. Maybe it's not useful in the slightest. Probably isn't.

→ Click here to read Part 3

Part four

Coming soon…

If you want to know when it drops, signup for my weekly email column. 

→ Click here to signup

Trying to lose fat, build muscle, and build a body you’re proud of?

Maybe you’re a little lost right now.

Maybe you don’t have much motivation.

Maybe you don’t what program or diet to use.

I don’t know…

But what I do know is this:

Everything you need is inside of you.

You’re capable of more than know.

You just have to open your eyes.

My weekly column can help.

Just a small little honest note from me sent every Sunday.

Unless I’m hungover.

And then it comes Monday.

What I’m trying to say is that it’ll come Monday.

(These weekly columns don’t get posted to the site.)

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