The only scientifically proven way to spot reduce body fat. THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR PRAYERS!

Or, Buy the sharpest knife you can find and don’t sue me

Everyone wants a tighter tummy.

“Tighter tummy” being their words, not mine. The cognitive leeway in my self-loathing vocabulary doesn't allow me to use the phrase “tighter tummy.”

People hate themselves because a baker's dozen of sweat laden lard rolls suffocates their belly button when they sit down.

Much better.

So they do crunches. A bunch of abdominal exercises. Any infomercial contraption that promises a tighter, toned midsection.

spot reduce infomercial ab machines

Because, for some ungodly reason, people still believe these things actually burn belly fat.

Why masturbation is the key to understanding spot reduction

You're better off believing in soul mates because you can't — to any useful degree — spot reduce fat loss.

Want your love handles to go away?

Side crunches won't help.

Want your bat wings to go away?

Flapping your arms around won't help.

If doing millions of repetitions to “feel the burn” had a significant local effect on body composition, then you'd be able to identify your masturbation hand…with great ease.

Right?

RIGHT?

I get the inkling though. You feel the burn. The pump. You think, “Something must be working. I feel this sensation right here.” It makes sense. The feedback is real.

But if I smash “right here” with a hammer, you'll also feel a sensation. Doesn't mean you're losing fat.

The way your body treats fat is kind of like how a bank handles money

You go to the bank today. You deposit a $100 bill into your account. You go back to the bank one week later and withdraw $100 cash. Are you going to get the same $100 bill? No. That's not how it works.

You don't choose the $100 bill you get. The bank does.

Your body (not you) chooses where it's going to burn fat.

If you want to burn fat in certain areas (and, if you're skinny-fat, you probably do *cough* moobs *cough* love handles *cough*) the only thing you can do is put your body in fat burn mode and cross your fingers.

And here's the joke…

Those crazy ab infomercial contraptions (and crunches) won't put your body in fat burn mode. At all. So you're just wasting your time. And money.

If you're okay with giving money away for no good reason, be sure to email me. I'll send you my PayPal account details. You can make us both happier people.

One last thing about body fat

Your body fat deposits aren't going anywhere, even after you lose fat. Your body gets rid of what's inside of the fat cells, but the cells themselves stay right where they are. And, if you ever re-gain the fat you lose, the cells will fill right back up.

They're like bowling pins. You can knock 'em over, but, if you give the machine a chance, it'll put 'em right back where they used to be.

So say you carry a lot of body fat around your waist. It was the last place to respond to your fat loss intervention. If you ever gain back the weight that you lost, the first place that's going to blow up is…

(guess)

…your waist.

The only scientifically proven way to spot reduce body fat (to a noticeable degree) is as follows

  • First, grab the sharpest knife in your kitchen.
  • Second, pretend you're Ed Gein.

It's not something I recommend. Don't sue me if you give it a try. I'm just the messenger. You might kill yourself in the process. But it'll work. GUARANTEED.


P.S.

If you want to learn how to really lose fat, the best fat loss blueprint I've made is hiding inside of this free course.

P.P.S.

There are some studies showing that localized fat loss is possible. Most of them are meh. One shows that spot reduction occurs more as a result of strength training rather than fat loss training. But this study was done on untrained subjects. Empirically, trying to spot reduce is a loser's battle.

Trying to lose fat, build muscle, and build a body you’re proud of?

Maybe you’re a little lost right now.

Maybe you don’t have much motivation.

Maybe you don’t what program or diet to use.

I don’t know…

But what I do know is this:

Everything you need is inside of you.

You’re capable of more than know.

You just have to open your eyes.

My weekly column can help.

Just a small little honest note from me sent every Sunday.

Unless I’m hungover.

And then it comes Monday.

What I’m trying to say is that it’ll come Monday.

(These weekly columns don’t get posted to the site.)

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