In the early 1900’s, everyone was trying to fly.

Some, like Samuel Pierpont Langley, had a stellar education and a host of funding.

Others, like the Wright brothers, had neither.

Yet, as we know, the Wright brothers took flight first.

Some say they bested Langley because they wanted to positively impact on the world. Langley, by contrast, wanted the money and fame.

You can fly like the Wright brothers.

Or you can fry like Langley.

It’s your choice.

WHY YOU’RE BORN TO FAIL

What separates success and failure? Is it a training program? A fancy exercise? A new method?

No.

It’s none of that.

Because none of that matters unless your heart is in the right place.

Most of us come from the Wright brother background. We don’t have Olympic trainers. We don’t get daily massages. We don’t have razzly dazzly equipment. We don’t have insane genetic make-up. We don’t even get paid to train.

Yet few people adopt the Wright mindset, which is why few people take flight. They are motivated by the wrong things.

They don’t ask themselves “why.”

They see crashing and failure as an ending, not a beginning.

They’re afraid to experiment.

They’re not willing to put in that “extra.”

They won’t sacrifice blood, sweat, and tears.

They don’t make it life.

They don’t have a purpose.

They’re not doing something that matters.

The Wright brother’s journey became the essence of their being. Success starts with wanting a body that matters.

One that makes a difference in your life.

One that lets you wander the world your way.

One that enables the potential to perform any task.

One that doesn’t handcuff you mentally, physically, or emotionally.

One that lets you wake up in the morning and love not only who you are, but also what you’re capable of doing.

One that makes you come alive.

IS IT YOUR JOB? OR YOUR PASSION?

Building a body that matters means making life your sport. Flying wasn’t the Wright brother’s job. It was their life. Their passion. Their essence.

When people are out to “burn calories,” they’re going to a job. Not a passion.

Calorie mongers exist in every junction of every gym.

They’re the ones that run on the treadmill for 45 minutes because the CDC told them to.

They’re the ones that don’t lift “heavy” weights because they heard something from Uncle Earl about “heavy” things being dangerous.

They’re the ones trying to tone with the two pound pink chrome dumbbells.

They’re the ones that rave about new fancy machines.

They’re the ones that have a new program every week.

They’re the ones that fall in love with the results, not the process.

YOU MUST AWAKEN YOUR ATHLETE

Passionate people are athletes. Don’t get confused. You don’t have to actually be an athlete in any sport other than life. You just have to have that mentality because that’s when you actually learn. It’s when “exercising” becomes “training” and taxes you physically and mentally. Everything becomes a lesson to be learned from.

It takes more than a motivation for “burning calories” to build a body that matters, because you have to be willing to fail, adapt, and try different things all in the name of growth. It’s way more than physical stress, and it’s hardly “easy.”

Ah, “easy.”

It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s not going to be easy. But it will definitely be worth it. And that’s why it feels so good.

Anyone can burn a calorie. But ripping five hundred pounds from the floor? Riding a ten foot wave? Chucking a backflip? Or doing any physical challenge for that matter—it’s all years of sweat, injuries, dedication and some days of “this kind of sucks.”

What separates the people that “get it” from the people that “want it?”

The mindset.

The Wright will.

These people want to love who they are.

They want to be able to do anything in life.

They want to change the way they live.

They want to come alive.

They want to build a body that matters.

WHY BUILD A BODY THAT MATTERS?

Building a body that matters is important because it’s the one thing in life you’re stuck with. Your car can get stolen. You can lose your job. Your girlfriend can leave you. Your friends can come and go. But even if you’re kidnapped and dropped naked from a helicopter in the Amazon, you still have your body and all of the lessons training has taught you. It serves you for life by looking good, moving good, feeling good, and performing good.

The beauty of building a body that matters is that it expands your mind’s walls of possibility, helping you do things that represent who you are and growing you into the person you want to be. It’s a doorway to physical and personal expression. It builds wings and allows you to take flight, setting sail a new frame of mind open to experience life events and physically express yourself in a way never imagined.

The goal is to wake up, love who you are, love what you look like, love what you feel like, love what you can do, do what you want to do, and change the way you live your life.

For some this is having enough confidence to talk to girls. For others, it’s having the mental cojones ski down a mountain. For me, it was tricking and backflipping. But it can be anything—dancing, tennis, climbing, free running, parkour, snowboarding, whatever. It can be the act of training itself. Building a body that matters is building a set of wings that allows you to set sail.

And the only way to do this is to see yourself as an athlete. The pursuit of a body that matters is a sport itself. Life is our sport.

A body that matters can look good, sure. But it’s not solely to be gawked at. Training is more than physical stimulation. It’s also fosters mental growth. It taps into physiology, psychology, intellect, emotion, and spirit.

In order for this to happen, you have to train with the mindset that an athlete takes when training for a sport. You have to be motivated with the same focus and willpower. Most miss this.

The mental struggle that blooms from building a body that matters is a continual press of physical tipping points—something that infuses into your soul and seeps into the deep fibers of your being. It’s all a fight against resistance, which builds character.

It serves subtleties to be learned by regularly engaging in physical and mental toils of that which oppose you—when gravity staples barbells to floors, when alarms crank at 4:00AM, and when “…but I’m too tired…” swims in between your ears.

Learning from the lessons grows more than the body. It gives birth to confidence and, eventually, solidifies a unique personal philosophy. You just don’t get this same emotional return when you’re out to “burn calories.”

Sorry, calorie mongers. But you’re losing.

THE ONE THING YOU NEED TO KNOW

When I look around, I see a lot of people that get it. And a lot of people that don’t.

But it’s not a program that splits the river. It’s not an exercise. Or a piece of equipment.

It’s the mind.

When I see Jon Call talking about training thee times every day, I know where his heart is.

When I see JC Deen, Roger Lawson, Neghar Fonooni, Jordan Syatt, Bret Contreras, Krista Scott-Dixon, Al Kavadlo, Nate Green, Paul Valiulis, and Nia Shanks, I don’t see professional athletes. I see regular people that pour emotion into their training — people that look at life as sport.

When I see Steve Kamb getting it done as he travels around the world, I know it’s about more than calories. Or when I see the Gold Medal Body Crew doing skills that take years to master, I know there’s more there than an arbitrary unit of energy.

And then there’s Mike Guadango — a former athlete that deals with more injuries than you ever will that still presses on because it’s what makes him tick.

It becomes a part of who you are.

It’s about the journey. The challenges.

Oh, it sounds serious, sure. But, trust me, in the end, we’re all just having fun, learning, and “playing.” And that’s when everything starts to unfold.

We’re not special. We simply have the Wright will. Our heart is in the right place.

Is yours?

When it is, it only takes time. So give it time. Don’t stop trying to fly just because someone else is in the air. You have to want to do it for yourself. Not for fame. Not for glory. Not for any opinion other than your own.

YOU HAVE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTION

So ask yourself:

How is training going to change my life?

Once I build wings and take flight, what am I going to do?

Where will I land?

What’s it going to do for me as a person?

Am I in this for life?

Does the very act of pursing a body that matters make me come alive?

And what is this journey doing for me:

Physiologically?

Psychologically?

Intellectually?

Emotionally?

Spiritually?

Because if it isn’t hitting on those domains, you’re probably not going to make it.

So absolutely answer these before you worry about:

Programs.

Reps.

Sets.

Rest periods.

Exercises.

Methods.

Supplements.

Diets.

Equipment.

And to you, calorie monger, I say this: you’re going to fail. As much as I want to help you, I can’t. You don’t belong here.

The good news is that with all of the fancy gidgets, gadgets, fads and fandangos, there’s a home for you somewhere. It’s probably has eight week escapades, six week solutions, and plausible promises.

But that somewhere isn’t here.

Because this place is for people that want to find meaning.

This place is for people that want to take flight.

This place is for people that are in it for life.

This place is for people that want a body that matters.

Shortly after writing this blog post, I began crafting an eloquent pitch to send to Bill Phillips, an editor at Men’s Health.

Normally, I write in Word, Google Docs, or Evernote. But I had Mr. Phillips’s e-mail address saved in Gmail, so I opted to write it there.

Being a shitty first draft, as Anne Lamott calls it, I included a cliché. It sat inside parentheses—my cue to swap it out for something better during revisions. Good writers hate clichés and I wasn’t going to use one in my first e-mail to Men’s Health.

After finishing the tentative outline, my fingers freaked out and I accidently sent the e-mail.

Without checking for spelling or grammar.

Without formatting the e-mail.

Without fixing the cliché in parentheses.

Without thanking him for his time.

But I hold my head high. Even though I sent a sub-par pitch, the fact remains that it’s sent. And that’s the most important part.

THE HERO

I would be astonished, downright flabbergasted, if you haven’t heard of Nate Green. Because of both the path I walk and my dream destination, I attract a similar crowd. His story is inspiring, no doubt. And you, probably like me, have intentions of tip-toeing in his footprints.

Entrepreneurial freedom. Living the life of your dreams. And generally kicking ass in the process.

Nate calls it becoming your own hero. Hot damn.

Become your own hero.

Now that’s catchy stuff.

You probably look up to Nate and see possibility, just like I do. Let’s not sugar coat it: you want his life. Those footprints he made? You intend on following them.

Well, I have some shitty news for you.

You can’t.

There’s a reason why it’s called becoming your own hero.

Nate didn’t have a path. He made his own. And as soon as a path does emerge, it’s useless.

Don’t follow it.

Nate proved that the ability to navigate the terrain was possible. That’s it. Now it’s time for you to do the same, only with your own trail.

THE JOURNEY

In Nate’s terms, I’m becoming my own hero. I have a long ways to go, as I’ve settled into a middle tier of success. Don’t get me wrong, I live for and love what I do. And that’s enough to keep me going.

But I’m stagnant.

As of this moment, my life is the most efficient and optimized for success as it ever has been. Each day is planned to maximize learning and productivity. And boy do I do a lot of learning.

But today, I think I finally understand.

I’m learning too much.

You can look around my room and find dozens of entrepreneurial books. You can shadow my life and tag along with the websites and podcasts I follow. (I will blog about these more often in the coming weeks.) Every day, however, I’m drifting further away from where I need to be.

Every day I’m coming closer to a pathway.

But that’s not where I, or you, should be.

There’s no adventure on the path. And when we’re there, we’re afraid to stray from it. But you can’t be original by following a path.

Don’t you want to be original?

JUST SHIP IT

Looking to kick off a writing or coaching career? How about this: stop reading about the process. Just stop for three weeks. And during that time, do one thing: ship something.

You can have the best product or idea in the world, but unless you ship it, no one cares.

For two weeks, I’ve had an e-mail in queue to Bill Phillips, an editor at Men’s Health. Haven’t sent it. Haven’t even written it. I’m afraid to, really. And this is the problem that not only I face, but the same problem you face.

We’re afraid to fail.

The path is perfect. You can’t lose if you follow it. And if you travel the woods alone, you might end up nowhere or get lost.

But one year from now, the people who make it through are the ones that just go. The ones that aren’t afraid of failing. Because they are going to take action. Everyone else will be staring at the path and glancing at the woods, wondering which way to take.

They may even be reading about which way is better. Book after book. They may even be listening about which way is better. Podcast after podcast. They may even be watching about which way is better. Interview after interview.

Paralyzed.

When I e-mailed Lou Schuler last year, I was admittedly fearful. Lou responded with this:

Now ask yourself: If you have to sack up just to email me, what’s it going to take to approach someone who can actually publish your work? And not just approach the person, but approach in a way that makes him take you seriously?

Why Lou, that’s a mighty fine question. And one I still struggle with months later.

Until now, becase I’m not afraid of failing anymore.

I have about five eBooks that need finished. What if they flop? What if no one downloads them?

I have a great website idea in “Become Superhuman.” What if no one likes it?

I want to make this blog more personal. More me. More about my own dive into the wilderness. What if no one cares?

But now it’s different. If my eBooks flop, great. If no one likes my website, awesome. And if no one cares about my content, fantastic.

I’m no longer chasing success. I’m chasing two things: value and failure.

You can’t fail if you’re not in the game. So as long as you fail, you’re fighting for something. And the most valuable currency either given or received is value. No one cares about muscle mass. But everyone cares about how muscle mass makes them feel. That’s value.

This philosophy shapes from two things: a small passage from a Seth Godin speech and a stanza from a Jonny Lang song.

Seth Godin:

Do you care enough to ship something into the world that might fail? Do you care enough to get laughed at? Do you care enough to put yourself out there and have it not work?

…

And this voice in the back of your head, the one that’s saying, “No no no, don’t listen to him,” that’s your compass. Every time it tells you you’re on the wrong track you know you’re doing exactly the right thing.

 

Johnny Lang:

It would sure be nice to go triple platinum,

But there’s no guarantee it’s ever going to happen.

And if I can only reach one set of ears,

I know that I fulfilled my purpose here.

Don’t try to be Nate Green 2.0. Trust me, I’ve been there. It won’t work. Even worse, you, as a person, won’t matter. You will be a copy. And when you’re gone, no one will care. You might be able to make a quick buck, but don’t you want more? Don’t you want to do things that extend beyond the confines of currency?

Be yourself.

By all means, have mentors. They are integral in your development. But be yourself. Make your own path. And do something people will remember.

Now, if you excuse me, I have a few e-mails to send.

A few years ago, I was a stock boy at Office Max — an office supply chain store. In December we sold cool gadgets for Christmas. One of them was a motivational quote calendar. It was the standard five inch by five inch daily-tear-off, optioned to stand upright on a desk. A motivation quote was wrapped in a soothing picture of nature on all 365 days.

Now, I like quotes. And I like pictures. (I post some on Pinterest from time to time.) But needing a motivational quote every day? That must be a sucky life.

“Another day I want to kill myself, but won’t thanks to Vince Lombardi reassuring me that, ‘The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.’” And the next day it’s the same story. “Boy, the sound of the alarm clock is such a cortisol rush I can’t bear it anym…oh wait, Voltaire is right — ‘Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.’ Time to rise and shine.”

For our needs, 360 of those quotes are useless. Today, I have five quotes for you. That’s all. Just five. Most of which are admittedly childish and carry little weight unless given context. They probably aren’t even good enough to make the motivational quote calendars. But each builds off the next, formulating a recipe for success to be used for any pursuit.

1. Know Where You’re Going

Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.

You can’t go anywhere unless you know where you’re going. So pick somewhere to go (a goal) — no matter how lofty — and just go. And pick a destination, not a direction. Anyone can “go north.” That only requires a compass and one step.

“I want to be rich,” is a shitty destination. “I want to make two million dollars before I die,” isn’t. “I want to lose weight,” shitty. “I want to have a six pack by April 1st,” isn’t. “I want to eat healthy,” shitty. “I want to eat nothing but eggs and vegetables for breakfast,” isn’t.

2. How Does it Feel?

Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.

- Albert Einstein

Don’t focus on the end itself, focus on how it feels there. Using the above examples, making two million dollars is the end, but what does it feel like? What freedoms do you have? How does that differ from your current situation? How is it affecting you on an internal level of feeling?

Losing twenty pounds is great. You will feel lighter. But how will you feel psychologically? And how will that affect your life? How good will it feel throwing away old clothes? Being able to walk up steps without being gassed?

The key is doing something that benefits your emotions.

3. Take the Open Road

Simple, not easy.

- Dan John

You know where you’re going. You know why you’re going there — even from an emotional and value point of view. To get there, take the simplest route. But don’t confuse simple with easy. It will never be easy. John Broz’s athletes squat every day. He feels it’s the best way to get stronger. No assistance work. No fancy gadgets. Just squatting. Everyday. Simple concept. But not easy.

4. Don’t Be an Idiot

“Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

- Alice in Wonderland

Another terrible quote that makes too much sense. If you know where you want to go and you know how to get there, just follow the path. Start at the beginning and don’t stop until you make it to the end.

Don’t program hop.

Don’t waiver.

People have great initial plans and get sidetracked because, well, “I think I could use a bit more trap work. And bicep work. You know what? Maybe I don’t need these back squats.”

90% of the time you know what you need to do. So do it.

5. Own it When the Time Comes

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

- Marianne Williamson

Since writing about skinny fat ectomorphs, I’ve gotten a huge e-mail response. Truthfully, I love it, so keep it coming. But the most disturbing part of these conversations is the fear that emanates from the psyche of skinny fat ectomorphs. Fear of doing everything right and still failing.

Most people have a similar fear. It prevents them from quitting their job. It prevents them from taking risks. It prevents them from doing just about anything worthwhile in life. Seth Godin says this fear originates in our lizard brain — the amygdala.

Ignore it. Don’t be afraid of what you might become. Be afraid of what you can become. And once you adopt that mindset after following the first four, you will be just fine.

 

What do you think? Have any more you would add to the list?  Hate any that made the list? Drop a comment below or post on my Facebook wall. I’d love to hear what you think.