A few years ago, I was a stock boy at Office Max — an office supply chain store. In December we sold cool gadgets for Christmas. One of them was a motivational quote calendar. It was the standard five inch by five inch daily-tear-off, optioned to stand upright on a desk. A motivation quote was wrapped in a soothing picture of nature on all 365 days.
Now, I like quotes. And I like pictures. (I post some on Pinterest from time to time.) But needing a motivational quote every day? That must be a sucky life.
“Another day I want to kill myself, but won’t thanks to Vince Lombardi reassuring me that, ‘The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.’” And the next day it’s the same story. “Boy, the sound of the alarm clock is such a cortisol rush I can’t bear it anym…oh wait, Voltaire is right — ‘Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.’ Time to rise and shine.”
For our needs, 360 of those quotes are useless. Today, I have five quotes for you. That’s all. Just five. Most of which are admittedly childish and carry little weight unless given context. They probably aren’t even good enough to make the motivational quote calendars. But each builds off the next, formulating a recipe for success to be used for any pursuit.
1. Know Where You’re Going
Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.
You can’t go anywhere unless you know where you’re going. So pick somewhere to go (a goal) — no matter how lofty — and just go. And pick a destination, not a direction. Anyone can “go north.” That only requires a compass and one step.
“I want to be rich,” is a shitty destination. “I want to make two million dollars before I die,” isn’t. “I want to lose weight,” shitty. “I want to have a six pack by April 1st,” isn’t. “I want to eat healthy,” shitty. “I want to eat nothing but eggs and vegetables for breakfast,” isn’t.
2. How Does it Feel?
Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein
Don’t focus on the end itself, focus on how it feels there. Using the above examples, making two million dollars is the end, but what does it feel like? What freedoms do you have? How does that differ from your current situation? How is it affecting you on an internal level of feeling?
Losing twenty pounds is great. You will feel lighter. But how will you feel psychologically? And how will that affect your life? How good will it feel throwing away old clothes? Being able to walk up steps without being gassed?
The key is doing something that benefits your emotions.
3. Take the Open Road
Simple, not easy.
- Dan John
You know where you’re going. You know why you’re going there — even from an emotional and value point of view. To get there, take the simplest route. But don’t confuse simple with easy. It will never be easy. John Broz’s athletes squat every day. He feels it’s the best way to get stronger. No assistance work. No fancy gadgets. Just squatting. Everyday. Simple concept. But not easy.
4. Don’t Be an Idiot
“Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
- Alice in Wonderland
Another terrible quote that makes too much sense. If you know where you want to go and you know how to get there, just follow the path. Start at the beginning and don’t stop until you make it to the end.
Don’t program hop.
Don’t waiver.
People have great initial plans and get sidetracked because, well, “I think I could use a bit more trap work. And bicep work. You know what? Maybe I don’t need these back squats.”
90% of the time you know what you need to do. So do it.
5. Own it When the Time Comes
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
- Marianne Williamson
Since writing about skinny fat ectomorphs, I’ve gotten a huge e-mail response. Truthfully, I love it, so keep it coming. But the most disturbing part of these conversations is the fear that emanates from the psyche of skinny fat ectomorphs. Fear of doing everything right and still failing.
Most people have a similar fear. It prevents them from quitting their job. It prevents them from taking risks. It prevents them from doing just about anything worthwhile in life. Seth Godin says this fear originates in our lizard brain — the amygdala.
Ignore it. Don’t be afraid of what you might become. Be afraid of what you can become. And once you adopt that mindset after following the first four, you will be just fine.
What do you think? Have any more you would add to the list? Hate any that made the list? Drop a comment below or post on my Facebook wall. I’d love to hear what you think.
Awesome post man!
I’m one of those who love to watch/read anything motivational every single day haha. Feels good. I haven’t had a “bad” day in 2 years despite of the many troubles I’ve had so it works for me haha.
I would disagree partly with number 3, kinda.
Even though it’s always best to go with the simple route, but I wouldn’t call the simple route always right.
What if what you’re doing IS the simple route but isn’t working? One can argue that you can just take another route that is simple.
Simple changes I guess.
But simple can mean things for different people. In terms of fitness, simple can mean squatting everyday but for another it can mean single leg training.
When it comes to innovation in fitness, the only thing simple about it is the end product.
And as you get better and you have to change more things, they get more complicated.
In terms of fitness, going with Arnolds “big six” might be the simple route for bodybuilders but once they get more advanced, it’s not enough anymore.
In terms of business, if a gym owner comes from nothing, goes the tried and true route and makes six figures, that’s awesome but getting from six to seven figures is different. Just doing more of the same won’t make you great.
I think that sometimes the simple route will have its end and the change (which happens anytime in life) makes things complicated. In essence, decision making makes things complicated and hard.
The only thing that pulls it all together is belief and sheer will of the person to face adversity and whatever his perception of his reality is, like you said.
In general though, going simple is the way to go like you said.
Again, great post man.
Great list; I’m a big fan of #1! My mental training/Muay Thai coach has that same quote in two of his books as he is a big proponent of having written, defined goals with various sub goals to hit along the way. He has always said to me that all too often he’ll meet with a client and ask them what they want. More often than not these people can’t tell him what they want but are really fast to tell him what they don’t want. He always references this quote from Alice in Wonderland because of that. Anyway, I though it was ironic that I was reading his book last night and while browsing a few of my regularly visited blogs this morning I came across it again. Thanks for posting.
That’s pretty sweet, Rich. I thought I was a lunatic for taking a liking to it. It’s so simple though, and it makes too much sense not to like it.
Interesting, though, about people being able to tell others what they DON’T want.
Good points, man. I find that people (including and especially myself) are way more motivated when they understand *why* they’re doing, not just what they’re doing. Otherwise it just seems arbitrary and meaningless to do this rather than that or the other.
It also requires us to spend some time being introspective, thinking seriously about the future, past, and present, and doing the kind of self-reflection that the world never encourages (and often tries its best to subtly penalize).
You might, in fact, add that as a sort of sixth metastep. Before you start out, think about why you want what you want. Motivations are important, if you’re going to be a “Man of value” rather than merely “successful.” What’s the benefit of a six-pack? Is it just a thing in itself, or do you think it will make members of the preferred sex want you? Are you trying to eat such-and-such way because you want a healthy life, or because someone else told you to? Is what you’re doing really going to make you a better person? How do you know that?
As Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth leading.
Good call Bennett. Motivations are huge. I tried to touch on this in the second point though, by mentioning the value that such a goal brings to your life. Do you think that motivations differ from values?
As a matter of fact, I would say that values are different from motivations. For example, I value humility, but I wouldn’t deny pride as a motivator in doing things. I value my relationships with other people, but I’m often motivated by jealousy or anger when I interact with them.
But in a specific health/fitness context, I think we often have shallow motives. There’s nothing wrong with, say, wanting a six-pack–but why want it? I place value on having a healthy-self image and a loving relationship with my significant other. But if I think that a six-pack is the key to feeling good about myself and getting chicks, then what is that mindset really leading me towards? Sometimes the way to get what we really value is in conflict with other things that motivate us.
Add to that, people are notorious for having cognitive dissonance, and acting at cross-ends with ourselves, especially when we are short-sighted or insufficiently reflective. Even smart, well-intentioned people get into it.
Laziness, impatience, ignorance, vanity, falling for the wrong girl, greed, fear of embarrassment, peer pressure, deep-seeded insecurities, bad coaching, all sorts of things motivate us, and often they aren’t really what we like to think of when we consider our ‘motivation’. We think of ‘motivation’ as this magical force that inspires us to get out of bed and lift heavy, but we have to make sure that we don’t just know how to get what we want, but also why we want it–and whether it’s in conflict with our deepest, truest needs.
Interesting opinion, Bennett. I agree that we often have shallow motives, but the fact is that they are present. Now, I think it’s best if we can accept that they are shallow and move on from there. It gets dangerous when vanity and whatnot isn’t recognized as such. Wouldn’t you say so? I know a six pack holds no bearing on my existence. But I still want one. Is that a healthier mindset compared to someone that thinks a six pack is going to change their life?
Yup! I also want one, don’t get me wrong. But to me–as I suspect it is to you–it’s really just a toy. My life isn’t going to be a lot better with one, or a lot worse without it. It’s just a fitness goal I set because it’s challenging, and makes a decent yardstick for progress, and I think it’d look good. There’s certainly some token vanity there.
I would strongly contrast that with someone who feels guilty or inadequate because they don’t have that level of definition, or who thinks it’s going to win over some girl. Or a woman who thinks she needs to have X-Y-Z measurements. Sometimes the real goal is “to feel attractive”, which often really translates into “to feel loved by myself and others.”
If I help someone get jacked, or lose 30 lbs, or whatever, but ignore an underlying issue of unhealthy attitudes, I’m setting them up for disappointment. I’ve got a few friends who are fitness models, and at least a couple of them look insanely good, but are just bundles of insecurity. They’ve got a very polished outside, which it just a band-aid for them in life. It tempts men to ignore their emotional issues, and basically enables them.
Now, to be clear, I don’t think this is the case with the majority of folks. But I remember Roman saying that he’d help someone who just wanted to get really jacked so they could take some Facebook pictures and make their ex-girlfriend jealous. That’s fine, I suppose, but the guy, in that case, doesn’t really want to be fit. He wants to feel vindicated, which I think really means he wants to feel like he “won” the relationship. He doesn’t want to feel vulnerable or embarrassed anymore. He thinks being jacked will make him feel that way, but it’s a hollow victory which wont’ really help him–at the end of the training cycle, he’ll go from being a normal guy with a broken heart, to a really strong, lean guy with a broken heart.
Should we turn down a client like that? Heck naw. But I try to be a friend, especially to female clients who are clearly dealing with years of media and social pressure to look a certain way. Hopefully the task of setting goals and overcoming obstacles and self-imposed limits becomes a skill they apply to their whole life, and they don’t just look at working out as “that unpleasant thing I do for a while until I lose the weight.”
Yeah, good stuff. This is part of my motivation behind my mentorship programs. Details aren’t really rolled out as of now, but program design is just the superficial aspect of the entire story.
Very good list. I find it ironic but not surprising that *mental* hurdles keep a lot of us from ever achieving our *physical* body composition goals. I would add something to this list–experiencing a turning point that turns losing weight (or building muscle) from a “nice to have” to a “*HAVE* to have.”
Suffice to say, this moment would have to be uncomfortable at the least, if not painful, to light such a fire under someone’s ass. Tim Ferriss harps on this idea at the start of “The Four Hour Body” and I’m in full agreement with him–if a turning point doesn’t shove someone into action, then they’re probably not going to succeed, because they won’t have the passion and motivation to stick with it. If we don’t know why we’re doing what we’re doing, it’s easy to call it quits.
One of the reasons “the flash diet” and other public “putting yourself on the spot” things work. They kind of arbitrarily create that “turning point.”
Hey Anthony. Just today, while reading a blog, I came upon this awesome quote from Martin Luther King, Jr: “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”
It’s an amazing quote. It basically says focus on your strengths and don’t waste time fixing your weaknesses. It’s great in terms of finding your passion and not focusing on something arbitrary that you might not care that much about. That’s not to say that one should forget fitness though. I see it more as do what you love and do consistently and passionately. I thought you’d love this quote.
That’s a really good quote. Really good. Thanks for sharing that. I will add it to the archives.